CB

Drunk History (2013-2019)

Waiting for @doughboys.bsky.social to weigh in on the Cheesecake Factory discourse.

Last week at karaoke I held my phone up to my ear to hear a vid of my next song and somehow turned on the flashlight and after a minute or so of casting a beam straight across the bar a younger guy had to tap me on the shoulder and inform me that my flashlight was on. Still not over it.

“Give them sweetbread and circuses.”

RIP Tom Skerritt, who we claim as a local here in Seattle. Never disliked a single minute of Tom on screen.

In any other admin, this would probably be the most outrageous official statement ever made by a sitting FCC director: Strongly implying that the government forbids broadcast networks from reporting on the president's falling poll numbers. (Sorry to paste from twitter but that's where he posts.)

If I’m wearing this when the delivery comes I am 100% sprinting to the bedroom to change. I don’t even care if the driver sees me run back there.

THE BRIDES OF FLATULA (2026)

Today I ate the rind on the Manchego, so I guess we’re all growing.

[skeleton Columbus] “It’s-a SpOoKIE SeAsOn!”

This is on par with when Mike Godwin told us “no, actually, you can call these guys nazis.”

Just 5 mins until Fall is officially here (first baked potato dinner of the year coming out of oven).

"why would I deceive you?"

in your next zoom interview have not only a cup of ice coffee but seven or eight different cups of various beverages just off camera and casually drink from each of them throughout the interview the drinks should have fancy straws or colorful parasols or large pieces of fruit on the edge of the cup

Game design:

Every day I get a push notification from LinkedIn that’s like “[giant company] is hiring [job that sounds like what I do but is not at all what I do]”

I mean, this is what this is all about, right? Patel, like every Trump official, has installed a polygraph-heavy culture at FBI. He needs elite (to him) conservative men who did all of this shit in college to be able to pass a lie detector test when asked if they are hiding anything in their forms.

Extremely rare, original production art from WIZARDS (1977) has just been added to our listings: ebay.us/m/lSvRRG

Is there any better client for an ad agency to have than an insurance company? Each one of them runs five different concurrent campaigns with a completely different cast of characters in each one. Gravy, baby.

I think “Caribbean Sea” becomes “American Sea” next. Whom do I see about that? Kalshi?

Oh… oh my

Robert Pollard dropping this into his “GBV Titles” notes doc.

BREAKING: The world's most sensitive dark matter detector has announced it has spotted something it can't easily explain: a single event that's tantalizingly consistent with a type of theorized dark matter particle. Very early days yet, but pretty wild. 🧪 www.science.org/content/arti...

The fact that they’ve made this FREE full revamp of a beloved game — a remaster that touches pretty much every file and has reworked so many core systems — compatible with existing save files is bananas. So, so impressive.

Uh oh I’m finding Wendell Berry. New Berryhead over here.

Not good. Not good. “Under a new final rule issued on August 26, 2026…USPS will, for the first time, play a gatekeeping function and be in a position to refuse to mail ballots that state election officials have determined should be sent out.”

Imagine FLOATING THROUGH SPACE and listening to this. You are an ASTRONAUT.

Blue Jays fans chanting "LAKE ONTARIO!" in the stands while the Mariners are pitching? You absolutely love to see it

One time 10 years ago the teenagers loitering outside the Safeway shouted “you’re old!” at me walking out with my groceries, so where does that leave me now? No place good, I’ll tell you that much, Senator. That’s why it’s important to post among the young and vital (respectfully).

Gulf of Mexico Lake Ontario Denali

I know it’s because I just watched the GTA VI extended trailer but Sliwa is 100% a GTA character. They could just clip him directly into the game, no problem.

Remember when Tila Tequila was spotted throwing up nazi salutes with a room full of white supremacists at a DC victory party in 2016 and hardly anyone even cared? It’s worse now.

Chakramaxxing

I’m sorry to be a downer but this is a deranged lunatic. This is a madman. Knowing that this smarmy, know-nothing crook somehow slimed himself into the WH *twice* is hard enough on a good day. But this stuff is hard to watch. In a video game you’d know for sure that you were in the shit ending.

Want to learn how it came to be that you can’t fast-forward past the commercials on certain streaming services? Enjoy this excellent thread:

Reminder: Dolly Parton helped fund the Moderna vaccine for COVID.

Dolly was one of the best to ever live.

Probably good to consider that they are being engineered with this ability so they can easily chase humans down. I dunno, something to keep in mind!

In Trump's 2025 inauguration speech he said, "After years and years of illegal and unconstitutional federal efforts to restrict free expression, I will sign an executive order to immediately stop all government censorship and bring back free speech to America." Anyway:

Never approach an adolescent Sonic. The pups, yes, it’s fine.

Please don’t write in the newspaper 700 years from now that I got absolutely smoked.