Mr. Charm

Back at b the day I worked at AOL and the leftover CompuServe goons would do this with Britney Spears and Sports Illustrated swimsuit content chum.

Somehow more optimistic about waking up to the big beautiful thing when I’m 16 outlets ahead of west coast time.

Cheesecake Factory has sucked for decades. If you think dissing this gaudy TGI Fridays wannabe chain restaurant is mean, maybe you’re the problem, Cletus.

I’m big in Japan.

TV commercials with doorbells, car horns or dogs barking can f all the way off fr

Still metal as fuck, I tell myself as I eat Indian and Filipino food in the airport lounge before a 12 hour flight. Fortune favors the bold.

2026: 2 Much 2rico. Fucking find somebody else to call a game or host a studio show, NBC.

“Could it be you're afraid Of what your friends might say If they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize That God is the only way to love.” That’s fucking Black Sabbath and Ozzy, singing this a decade before the satanic panic. Fuck evangelicals.

Nobody gives a fuck about Disney ESPN Star Wars synergy for the Super Bowl. Get a fucking life, nerds, I say as I guy who watched the first movie at a theater when it was released.

Keena Turner: good guy, champion, and finally in the Niners hall. #58

Pretty sure that god-awful 80th anniversary logo that looks like “8C” for the 49ers was designed by the same brain trust that designed the shit-assed stadium, too.

fuck ICE and anyone who stands with them

This is not a charity site, but please feel free to set up a kickstarter for me to get my post-retirement luxury watch next week.

I am so not watching Newlyweds on NBC, but hope those actors got the money for that crap. NBC, you already have a built-in base of morons who still watch The Office every day.

Here's the deal pollsters, if the polls are wrong again, we're not doing polls anymore. You'll have to get a job.

Shut the FUCK up, Kevin Hart.

So tired of seeing this goober on Sunday Night Football. Glad I’ll be out if the country during the midterm elections so I can avoid his schtick (and yes, I did vote already).

the U.S. military should not be used as entertainment at college football games & I'm only surprised this didn't happen earlier. https://taskandpurpose.com/news/airman-dies-utsa-rappelling-incident/

We should be allowed to filter out genres on the iTunes Store because I don’t give a flying shit about the latest gospel releases this week.

Writing a story about an elderly leader who has an unhealthy relationship with his daughter and keeps cloning her and turning those clones into his companions while he slowly loses his mind. Yeah it’s def science fiction and not based on anything in real life.

Living in a golden age of Ed Sheerans and Kelly Clarksons getting dragged through the mud.

Folks, it’s official. The Dodgers have “failed” Ohtani. You can bet on it! Commentary: Dodgers should have taken Shohei Ohtani off the postseason roster - Los Angeles Times (link from Apple News+ so you probably won’t be able to access it). Because Apple sucks.

“The president yesterday called me a dog.” New York Attorney General Letitia James wasn’t holding back. She called out the racism and reminded everyone that the power is in our hands. Release that power on Election Day. 🔥 #VivaHerAlliance #VoteBlue

You can bet on that!

Pretty sure I’ve been to Corfu, but have no idea when.

“My son,” Jesus said onto me, “there was only one set of footprints because I can motherfucking fly. I’m the motherfucking son of God, you dumbshit! Now let us catch some waves before happy hour at the Hodad Shack, you stupid bag of piss. Who the fuck let this asshole on my beach?”

Abolish ICE.

Happy Jerry Rice and Sammy Hagar Day, to those who observe.

It’s fucking 2026. We don’t need The Grateful Dead as bumper music leading into FOX Sports commercial breaks. Stop placating whatever Deadhead producer is on your fucking payroll. Asshole FOX Network.

Bull Fucking Shit www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootb...

Sounds like the Seahawks fan base got a good deal on some used Copium from the Padres fan base.

Fire Stephen A. Smith.

Mike Rogers knows how to deliver BIG results: bigger hospital bills, bigger access to opioids, bigger war with Iran, and bigger gas prices.

Rock and roll crazy nights; you are the heroes tonight. youtu.be/pXCpPpPCW4c?...

Life insurance sure is important, as I get bombarded for it during every commercial break on tv. You know what else is important that B-list celebs aren’t shilling for? UNIVERSAL FUCKING HEALTHCARE.

Great sports week for San Diego!

I’m down at the public library for the last day of Banned Books Week, which happens to coincide with Hispanic Heritage Month. No quiero bailar hoy, pero quiero leer sin censura.

When The Big Beautiful Thing happens, at least for one day, he’s gonna be the Giddy Reaper.

Valks

Impeach his ass 👇

Not feeling really bad about somebody getting absolutely dragged through the mud who decided to transform into a ghoul just to stand behind President Fucktwat.

Abolish ICE.

I am angry tonight. Because tonight ICE shot a New Yorker. They shot a New Yorker while his five year old child was in the car. ICE makes this city less safe. We want them out. Now.