Salami Valentino Jr.

Non-timely hot take: I'm Just Ken is a damn banger of a song that manages to be funny and poignant with a melody that sticks in your head. Mark Ronson is just so f*cking talented it's insane. That goes for Baby Goose too. Sick.

The fruit flies that have invaded my house are driving me mad. I chase them around like a crazy person with folded magazines or the vacuum. Sometimes I just clap my hands in the air and then cuss vehemently. How could letting bananas get ripe incur such punishment? Never again.

New York Times, thanks for curating such a precise list. This is so helpful! @nytpitchbot.bsky.social

The End of Oak Street is great except for Ewan McGregor's American accent. Seriously, it's dismal. I love him but my god, you could have cast almost any other American actor.

If Nabisco ever stops making Triscuits, I do believe I will perish.

RIP Coach

Words of wisdom

@fartsandwich.bsky.social DANNIS. Don't suspend paid subscriptions you numbskull! Take our money! But glad to see you back, buddy. Good to know you're still gross.

Let's see what happens when I use a RED pen for my to do list! Spoiler alert: no more productive and made me stressed

Well why don't I just punch myself in the face a few times.... *opens LinkedIn

🎶 Pills, pills, pills this is how we start the day 🎶

Please correct me if I'm wrong but I'm so happy that this is a local STL channel. KSDK right?

Hello! Everything sucks. I hate everybody. Nothing good is happening. That’s all the news for now, tune in for more updates!

My coworkers are all so earnest and happy. I really can't stand it.

I am still dealing with the aftermath of the side effects, 5 years later.

Wow I really went HAM on the cornstarch in this egg drop soup. It's more like gravy. NO COMPLAINTS.

Oooooh THE SHADE!!! I love it.

Please send me good luck for getting Harry Styles tickets!!!!!!!!!!

A young cool looking person told me they liked my outfit. ZOMG SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!

I hate how poignant September is. Beautiful, perfect weather I know is going away soon, stop hurting my tender heart!

I folded laundry too hard so now my shoulder hurts. And if that doesn't perfectly encapsulate this time of life, I don't know what does.

I want to make a statement as a mother: My coworker shares far too many pics of her kids and I'm sick of having to pretend to react to them in the chat. No, Rebecca, I'm not actually looking at your toddler in a sandbox with heart eyes. I'm exhausted from pretending. Where's the Unsubscribe emoji?

Haha, a more fitting logo for Google.

Ok nerds I have a Lanterns question: if it was 2016 when we saw John Stewart as a baby how is he a grownass man in 2026? Did I miss something?

[Exit Queen.]

If I could unleash my full middle-aged white woman Karen power on a manager I absolutely would. blockclubchicago.org/2026/08/19/w...

In This House Alexander Skarsgard Is Only Known As Murderbot (sign in my front yard)

“Aaron is in danger of presenting a naked sloth.” God I love The Great British Baking Show.

Today my husband yelled "Get f*cked, Padre!" at a priest protesting outside an abortion clinic. Why I married him ❤️

Question for the parents/educators out there: is Aspen the worst website in the world everywhere or just CPS? The UX could be a case study in what NOT to do.

I also want numbers to stop

If a dentist counts: "You should stop eating so much fruit." and "You should brush your teeth after every time you eat."

Is it ever going to stop raining? I’d like to get to the beach once this year.

It's getting hard to pretend to care about coworkers' kids photos as this hour goes on....

Did Free People design the Ingalls' clothes on this show? What is this sweater crossover vest Mary has on?

“The easy thing to do in life is to sit back, relax, drink wine, have fun with friends — not bring a lawsuit against the government,” Feler said. “But it seems lazy not to seek accountability, especially since I have the privilege to be able to do this.” BRAVO Mr Feler! You are a good citizen.

It's amazing what rest can do when you need it. It's been a physically and emotionally taxing week and I felt I didn't have the energy to do life or work. Bleak, negative, sad. After a nap I can see the bright side and am getting it done. Don't diminish rest, my friends (also talking to myself)

Nothing today has made me stop and think more than this post

I guess I like root beer flavored sparkling water now. Should I be worried?

If you're not outraged, you should be

You guys, the obsession with hot honey has got to stop.

Holy shit yall my boomer parents are killing me. They wont stop driving. They refuse to go to the hospital. They make shitty decisions. They wont listen. They are IMPOSSIBLE. Anyone else feel this??

I need a date night with my husband so I can tell him about all the bad depressing things on my mind.

My ex? Oh he got bitten by an animal and became that animal ANYwho look at this old pic of me!

Through rigorous testing, I am more secure in the knowledge that I am good at laying in the sun and drinking vodka.

I often think about all the people whose lives have been ripped apart by ICE. And then I get really depressed bc I feel so helpless. So when I see stories like this I donate immediately. It's a drop in the bucket, but it makes me feel a tiny bit better. Maybe you'll feel better too?