ᕲᗩᖇᗷS

We are living in a Black Mirror version of Idiocracy.

[Oouija board starts shaking and screeching] Hold on I gotta take this

If we’re doing public executions now, I know some pedophiles who can get in line

I discovered a few years ago that if I give an insect a name, it no longer scares me. Everybody, meet Glen.

Pete Hegseth will be the death of us all.

Might as well light the Constitution on fire at this point.

To the people complaining these sex abuse cases have created a world where men now have to think 10 times before they touch a woman. Yes, that's the point. It's called consent. Welcome to human decency.

No one even uses looptid as a word anymore.

Wait. I am hearing that Kash Patel was roofied by a donkey?

This👇👇👇

US : we're putting tariffs on Canada because they're poop heads who are mean and don't recognize america first Canada : ok we'll put the same on you guys US : this is outrageous, unforgivable, this unprovoked economic warfare will not stand, we are just a little guy, and its our birthday

Every Breath You Take Requires a Monthly Subscription - The Police

Stevie Ray Vaughan was a force of nature #videos #srv #stevierayvaughan #blues #music

"Lake America" instantly just absolutely clogged with algae. Six uniformed National Guard guys standing on a beach dumping windex into it. It smells like a turtle tank.

Noooo, not Dolly 😭 Rest in peace, Angel.

lots of reporters suddenly worried about slipping into communism but strangely f*cking quiet about slipping into fascism

We need someone like Mamdani in California. I know we can't steal him from NYC but maybe you all could clone him and then we can have 2nd him as Governor.

Millions of drivers just want a simple car where the only innovation is battery power. Why do so many EV companies be like "let's replace the steering wheel with a joystick!" and "what if the doors only unlock when you lick em?"

I have it on good authority that Mitch McConnell has grown his hair out and is now wearing a man bun with a little scrunchie around it.

I just saw Mitch McConnell running on a treadmill at Planet Fitness. Did you know he has a 6 pack now?

I fking knew he was going to put his dumb face on our money. GROSS.

Until something is done regarding these blatant lie factories the nation will remain divided. You cannot have one part of the population living in reality and the other portion a gaslit fantasyland.

Gotta admit, pretending to be alive for a month to manipulate the legal process to the advantage of his party is exactly how Mitch McConnell would want to die.

you literally can do good and useful things for people - you just have to want to - and mamdani continues to show that the establishment has not wanted to

Just had to explain who Peter Thiel is to my mother, a woman who has CNN on in her house every waking moment. Starting to think it’s a problem that men like this can just fly under the radar because their friends own the press.

Don't tell me what to do

Shout out to algae.

. They gave him a colonoscopy and found half of Congress. .

I didn’t know about the earliest origin of Memorial Day until I was a grown-ass man —because some folks didn’t want us to. 2021: Memorial Day organizers cut the mic of retired Lt Col Kemter as he discussed how formerly enslaved Americans exhumed remains of soldiers to give them proper burials. 🧵

John Early is a national treasure.

OpenAI Announces Construction Of New Data Center On Top Of Sick Child

I was offered a kitten today, and I reluctantly declined. I never dreamed I could have that much self-control.

I'm planning a trip to Arkansas. I've never been, except once as a toddler. It'll be interesting to see how much MAGA cult behavior I see, or don't see. 👀

I just bought tickets to see Jack White in September. I'M SO EXCITED!!! I never go to concerts anymore, but I'll definitely make an exception for this one. I can't wait!