Dylan Platt

Sorry but this isn't how you take care of a hotel

Uhh, Leo? Pretty sure that phrase is a Qanon dogwhistle my good dude

cut my life into pieces

oh you made the computer sound like a guy? it can summarize answers really fast? well life-giving liquid just falls out of the sky and a delicious tomato can just appear magically out of dirt. id say "but your thing is cool too" but id be lying. your thing is dumb as fuck compared to a tomato

Me: I’d like a slice of pizza Server: that comes with three sides Me: I know what shape it is

The US really just doesn't have the architecture to do Dark Souls 3-style eclipses

Based on the attract screen, you won't see the name of this 90s arcade game coming...

The only more relatable Kurt Russell moment I can think of is *Dodgeroll* "Yeah, fuck you too!" *Throws lit dynamite*

*meredith brooks voice* im a mitch im mcconnell i help trump comma donald ive a turtle for a head im probably really dead

As is so often the case, Mr. Lynch said it best.

Just got prescribed Ondansetron, a great anti-nausea med (also known as Zofran) but every time I read the name I can't help but think Santa's started using robo-reindeer. On Dancetron! On Dashetron! On Prancetron, and Vixetron!

Digital asbestos.

Oooookay fireworks companies... We all laughed when you tried to make orange fountains a Halloween thing, but this is a step too far. Stay in your lane, mofos

In dreams I see it now, and though it seems I'm bound to roam, My thoughts are still of Texas and of home.

Goddamn, but I love that even almost 20 years later, people are still talking about U R MR GAY

If anybody was wondering, Xinth the Black Coat whips all kinds of ass. Holy hell (pun intended), Hades 2 just keeps delivering incredible ideas again and again. I need to go back and wrap up the second half of Silksong but I'll be damned (pun again) if I don't just keep thinking "eh, one more run".

Cannot BELIEVE more people don't talk about "I'm sorry baby, I had to crash that Honda" as one of the all-time funniest movie lines. I kinda want to buy a Honda just so I can make a bumper sticker that says "I'm sorry baby, I had to crash that" and put it right over the Honda logo.

Fucking FINALLY took down The Last Judge. Damn, what a fight. Curious to see what's beyond the door I've been stuck at for almost three days.