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“He’s got the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened up a Cheesecake Factory” — Obama

A sight we’ll never tire of. Our ex-orphans came to visit on Sunday, and Nesheshi had the honour of leading the herd. After her mother was shot and killed, reaching her meant airlifting her in a customised sling beneath our helicopter from a remote corner of Laikipia.

Wow! That was a really super cricket match. I like tight competitive matches, especially if the pundits say something is in the bag.

The Tesla roadster doth use compressid ayre so technicallye it ys not a "flyinge" car it ys a "fartinge" car.

Here's a musical reflection on Trump's latest violation, undermining Ukraine's prospects. Again sung in their support, and adapting #bobdylan's beautiful refrain to make the point that "It Ain't Kyiv, Babe" starting wars. #SlavaUkraïni 🇺🇦🎶💛💙 Details/lyrics: youtu.be/skM3U8xNy48

Chicks dig the scar

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, football watcher, said when interviewed “Mon père et moi are super excited about le foot à la télé et he has juste cracked open un sachet de chips au barbecue! Nous are going to mange le chips et watch le foot. Nous might need un autre sachet et du fromage.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, happy girl, said when interviewed “mes parents are back! Moi is chuffed. Mon père is watching Angleterre do le trouncey trouncey de Croatie. Ma mère is watching Strictly. Moi is doing le flitty flitty entre les télés. Le foot is exciting mais it’s semaine du cinéma.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of The Traitors, said when interviewed “moi is going to watch la télé avec moi’s companion. Moi’s journaliste thinks monsieur Grant is trés dishy dishy mais peut-être un silly billy. Nous are excited. Moi is eating des fromage et des saucisses. Moi is OK.”

I don’t like to criticise a woman on how she looks but it seems some young women like puffed up lips, the fat removed from their cheeks, a nose pencil straight and extreme eyelashes. I am an Australian feminist and I like natural people with sparkling eyes, a wonky nose and a proper snorty laugh.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of BBC News, said when interviewed “moi thinks genocidey is un super bad thing. Parlaying avec vous Monsieur Netanyahuyahu not le peuple d’Israël. Moi thinks vous should be arresty arrestied et go to la Hague.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, BBC News watcher, said when interviewed “moi has juste watched beaucoup les datey daties rapides avec l’homme d’orange. He is un dangereux nutzoid. Moi understands there are super restaurants dans New York. Moi thinks le PM et Marie-France should go mange des wagyu.”

Things that aren't patriotic: - Racism - Moving abroad for tax purposes Things that are patriotic: - A love and sense of duty to your country, including paying taxes that contribute to it

Once upon a time a very long time ago as a young teenager I was in a sailing race with my Dad and he was yelling at me for not pulling the headsail. I told him to f* off.I think it was the first time I had ever used that expression.I think conversations from a long time ago should best be forgotten.

NEWS:Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, loving daughter, said when interviewed “mon père has had une semaine merdy merdy avec le back dodgy dodgy et his problèmes going le sleepy bobos.Moi is très heureuse that Brentford has done un proper stingy stingy on Chelsea. Mon père is so super chuffed. Moi aussi.”

Here's a French video (with English subtitles) about what would happen if the far-right racists got their way and all foreigners and people of colour were forced to leave.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of the last night of the proms, said when interviewed “Dolly proper rocked didn’t she? What une super femme. Moi’s journaliste is doing les yeux de leaky leakies. Moi would aussi like to be comme Dolly, not les cheveux obvs, moi’s manteau is parfait”.

Riddle me this. If somebody donates £36 million to a political party and £5 million to its leader, how is the £5 million not political? Asking for a parliamentary standards commissioner.

share.google/AWA0QowotTF2... The RNLI is one of those institutions that make me proud to be British - join me in donating to show your support

Bill Bryson’s words seem appropriate to post right now

Since its foundation in 1824 the bravery of Royal National Lifeboat Institution volunteers has saved more than 146,700 lives at sea. Hundreds of those volunteers have died attempting to save others. They are the best of us.

NEWS:Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, BBC News watcher, said when interviewed “moi is worried that l’homme d’orange has said it is d’accord to kill les loups gris.Moi has never seen them dans Ealing mais moi knows nous are related. Moi thinks they should get together et go à Washington et do their thing.”

What is so important to the ultra-rich that they must seize and destroy the world's resources, hold down wages and crush organised labour, capture politics to reduce the tax they pay, fund the far right to stifle democracy? Here's an answer. A Hermes Birkin 35 Diamond Bag. On sale for £449,555.68

This 💔😇

We should put this sign on every politician's desk

Dolly Parton, an international superstar and a feminist heroine, died at age 80. She won 11 Grammy Awards, as well as one for lifetime achievement in 2011, and was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1999. Read more about her cultural impact: https://wapo.st/4wTcnR1

I’ll always remember Dolly Parton for the fact that she donated $1 million in 2020 to the research that led to Moderna’s COVID vaccine, as well as millions more for childhood vaccine and cancer research. She was an immensely talented, kind, and giving person.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, sad girl, said when interviewed “moi is super triste about Madame Dolly Parton. She was un super bon œuf. She did beaucoup de travail pour helping les petits people do le ready readies (et moi knows they need that) et pour la nature. Nous will toujours love vous.”

Yn the Paleolithic age, a cave-payntere named Ted doth travel across manye landes to joyne a group of cave-paynteres who have been losinge cave-payntinge competiciouns. Wyth hys hope, kyndenesse, and compassioun, Ted doth make them believe yn the power of their art. Thys summer: Ted Lascaux.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, lover of books, said when interviewed “ma mère has juste read moi ‘L’Empereur’s Nouveaux Vêtements’. Moi loves ma mère doing la ready ready. Les pictures were super drôle, moi cacked moi self. Moi is maintenant watching BBC News moi can see des parallèles.”

I don’t know if this really happened. But if it did, I salute you Alan.

The picture on the front of Reform's policy is of HMS Ocean on the River Thames in 2012. It was sold by to the Brazilian navy in 2018. Turns out you can judge a book by its cover.

Can electoral lightning strike twice? #VoteBinface #Clacton

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, BBC News watcher, said when interviewed “moi is super triste about les firey firies. Moi is worried pour les gens de France et d’Espagne et les animaux, even les chats et les lapins.”

Do the orphans know which is their bedroom? Yes, and not just their own either. Watch Mzinga, who has taken it upon herself to see new rescue Zuri settled – walking the younger calf back to her stable, then lingering until she's lain down for the night. www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org/nursery-herd

Time for Burnham to crack down on the poisonous briefing culture in Downing Street that Larry is crap at his One Job.

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, smart girl, said when interviewed “ma mère is très excited about le Festival de concerts-promenades, mon père was excited about la Coupe de Monde. Ma mère is une intellectualiste, mon père is plus un athlète. He scores in le foot walky walkies comme Monsieur Messi.”

As of 4pm today the candidates were confirmed, & the race for the Clacton by-election is officially on between @countbinface.bsky.social & Farage. Here's our parody of "Englishman in New York" by #Sting - titled "Garbage Can Who Can Talk" - to reflect on the challenger 🎶🚀#noAI youtu.be/9NH5JpqrIzY

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, football watcher, said when interviewed “moi is triste, super triste.”

NEWS:Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, intellectual (starter level) said when interviewed “moi had un appel rapide from moi’s journaliste. Moi can confirm ma mère is not watching le foot. She has been intellectualising about l’economie et la politique. Moi thinks moi will probablement not become une prof.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, football watcher, said when interviewed “moi is normalement une francophile mais moi is supporting l’Espagne ce soir as moi thinks it will be plus facile to do les winny winnies contre them once nous get un close stressy stressy win contre les Argies demain.”

Joyeux 14 Juillet - Vive la France! 🇫🇷

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, late night football watcher, said when interviewed “moi is super pleased that l’Angleterre did le winny winny mais moi thinks les Norvégiens are super cool. Moi thinks that their row, row le bateau thingy is magnifique. Moi thinks they are superbe.”

NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, Belgium football supporter, early in the second half, said when interviewed “moi likes les frites et les moules. Moi thinks le fromage manchego is trop salé. Juste saying. Moi knows beaucoup about le fromage.”