Hailey, It Happens

Gruff Action Man has to protect young girl from sinister forces, frequently bites it in the end.

There are so many ways to honor Dolly but I know I’ll be listening to The Grass is Blue and Coat of Many Colors (“The Way I See You” 😍) a whole lot

Someone needs to interview Enes Kanter ASAP and ask what the hell is wrong with him. And as anyone who watched him play knows, he’ll have no defense…

Oh wow this is quite the puzzle. Why might people not want to come to the U.S. right now? Truly a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

I, too, sing America. I am the darker brother. They send me to eat in the kitchen When company comes, But I laugh, And eat well, And grow strong. Tomorrow, I’ll be at the table When company comes. Nobody’ll dare Say to me, “Eat in the kitchen,” Then. (con't)

If anything does make this country good, it’s art, culture, and community. Choosing to keep that front and center while I enjoy the Pops broadcast.

Boston/MA isn’t interested in any more trades with Philadelphia right now…

This. This is the answer. This prompt comes around every couple months like clockwork but ain’t nobody topping this one.

I would not be here if not for antidepressants that have been making my life better for 28 years. But of course, that’s what he wants. He’s a monstrous, eugenicist pimple on the ass of society. Fuck this weapons-grade stupid nepo-baby prick.

JOHN FOGERTY: I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain JAMES TAYLOR: okay, you’re not gonna fucking believe this

Parks and Recreation Frasier MST3K The Dick Van Dyke Show Star Trek: The Next Generation Buffy the Vampire Slayer New Girl Brooklyn Nine Nine Bob’s Burgers Friends The Muppet Show The Newsroom Cheers Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The first 10 seasons of The Simpsons

still trying to figure out how the WHCD assassination attempt became an all-out campaign to fund White House renovations. I guess the man at the back said "everyone attack" and...it turned into a ballroom blitz?

Exactly how stupid does John Henry think that Red Sox fans are? I already loathed this loser ownership group but they can all absolutely fuck off to the dark side of the moon for firing the Captain.

“She Fucking Hates Me” by Puddle of Mudd

When you get visited by three Puerto Rican ghosts

Macbeth: SHIT

there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

The best essay about this film that I've ever read, and I've not only read dozens, I've written a few myself. Hooray for Mary!

Yearly appreciation post for Richard Kendall Gibbs, whose score for the ‘90s Hallmark Christmas movie The Christmas Box is a work of utter beauty. Makes me cry by itself every single year.

A full majority of these songs are good. The fuck?

this exists it is called thinking

Allison Janney, best known as the aggressively appreciative mom who is now coming to Cole’s for “everything but toilet paper and bananas” in the 1994 MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET remake.

Fuck. Yes. That’s. The. Stuff. I wish I lived 1/3 of a mile west of where I do so I could vote for her to be re-elected.

Finding a CD that’s been too pricey to get online in the wild at a record store is straight up thrilling. This message brought to you by Richard and Linda Thompson’s First Light

As strategy, I think "I will boycott this" is more effective than "I demand that people refuse to participate in this" which is more effective than "I will boycott people who participate in this" which is more effective than "I demand that you boycott them too." Anyway: I will boycott this.

The Billy Joel doc is mostly very good but man they just let him breeze past some of the things I was most interested in hearing his perspective on now. It’s pretty unforgivable to never once say Doug Stegmeyer’s name in 4 hours of runtime.

Age verification? I once had to say the sentence “Did we get dimes from the bank to use on the subway today?”

Theodore Aloysius Huxtable is one of the most important television characters of my lifetime. The Cosby Show was not about Heathcliff or Clair or even Denise, that show was about Theo

Not to take “look over here” rambling by the senile asshole-in-chief more seriously than it deserves, but Guardians is a terrific name for the team. The Guardians of Traffic are cool as hell and literally RIGHT next to the stadium. That was a huge upgrade.

ESPN doing their damndest to make the Derby completely unwatchable. Desperate pick-me WrestleMania “celebrity” nonsense. Foisting Pat McAfee on us. And this awful fucking split screen so you never see a single goddamn home run go. Just awful TV.

I’m certainly not an expert, but that Ripley/Sky headline match at Evolution was definitely a classic.

A billion movies out there I could stream and I’m using Kanopy tickets to watch Fleetwood Mac’s The Dance for the forty thousandth time.

There’s late ‘80s commercial for A1 steak sauce that tries to sell the concept of hamburgers as just chopped steak and it ends with a VERY specific cadence of: Kid: “…and save the ketchup for the fries” Dad/chef: “GOOOOOD”