Jenny Ainsworth

Woke up extra early this morning and so was at my desk working from just gone 5. As a result I have now decided to finish for the day and take an afternoon bath. God, the decadence

Timeline full of people saying they can’t work out how to change clocks, especially the oven one. Same joke twice a year

Be careful out there today, chaps #buelo

James locks down on each new person with such utter conviction it’s hilarious #celebritytraitors

Has anyone else had a standing ovation before when they’ve been banished? #celebritytraitors

Frigging hell Joanne STOP TALKING

James Blunt channelling 118 #celebritytraitors

#celebritytraitors

Only Ross Kemp could quote Shakespeare with a straight face in those circumstances #celebritytraitors

Remarkable Lazarus like recovery from grimness of yesterday. What the hell was that all about?

I'm very tired and very angry. Free to read.

Just opened a sachet of cat food for the cat and inexplicably, put it in the bin. Cursed profusely. Opened a second sachet of cat food and did the exact same thing again

👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

First footy match of the season for Boroughbridge U18s. COME ON LADS

I’m at a Michael Jackson tribute act in York for a friends birthday. Don’t judge me - I get it I really do get it. There must be 5000 odd people here. It is APPALLING. It’s soooo bad it’s hysterical. Oh GOD it’s awful

Daughter queuing in the rain outside the American embassy for her visa - I’m waiting for her at a nearby cafe. There’s a stream of people coming through getting things printed they’ve forgotten and the cafe asks for a donation to a local arts community for doing so. Nice.

God the Russell Brand court reports sound grim. Please let there be some justice for once

Yes it’s only 830am but I’m having a piece of lemon drizzle cake with my coffee as have been up since 430am and already run 2 virtual meetings for clients in Aus/NZ and Philippines so I will be taking no admonishment

As an occasional creative writing teacher myself I certainly don't make a fuss about apostrophes. But I also don't charge 50 grand. www.pace.cam.ac.uk/courses/mst-...

Noseying around the Creative Writing Master's degrees on offer in our fine country and so far the most expensive I've found is the Cambridge MST in Writing for Performance, which is £25,494 (or £50,988 for overseas students) and starts with this video, with a misplaced apostrophe in the title.

Morning champs.

Oh it’s just such a crock of shit #LIVMCI

‘And Man City have scored another’

Not watching live and I don’t know if that’s bad or good 🫠 #ynwa

Watching Bake-Off as a Yank is so awesome. You can understand what they call pudding, biscuits, etc. but suddenly they’re saying, “Toby’s cake will have all the classic Gingham Day flavors, in the form of Swat the Grump,” and then they make like a carnival game where you shoot lobsters with a cannon

That time someone dumped a toy house on the cemetery wall and, when I crouched a bit, some ✨ Hollywood Magic ✨ occurred.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

now i lay me down to sleep i'll catch that bird who goes meep meep if i die before i wake, acme co has sent a fake

For today’s @ftweekend.com I am at the restaurant inside the high end Mayfair furniture shop RH London. And it’s chaos. Warm water. Can’t mix cocktails. Run out of hamburgers. Dull food for bored oligarchs who don’t eat. Have a few quotes and a pic of a £22 baked potato. www.ft.com/content/5993...

Ross’s actor skills kicking in there. The kneel. The envelope opening. The look to camera #celebritytraitors

Can’t wait for James blunt’s response when he finds out Julie’s not a traitor #celebritytraitors

“I’ve been saying my opinion” is now my new meme for life #celebritytraitors

Omg Joe that’s an interesting statement #celebritytraitors

"Killing Hasan in full public view would make him a martyr on a bigger scale than any suicide attack ever could: there would be footage of the US state killing him, available for use by any recruiter, at any time. To call it a gift to the USA’s enemies would be the understatement of the century."

Jerry’s had a lot of airtime today which usually is the day you get bumped off #celebritytraitors

Jerry just saying anybody/everybody #celebritytraitors

Please give whoever booked Ross Kemp for this a raise #CelebrityTraitors

Claudia making out it was down to their incredible deduction skills #celebritytraitors

#celebritytraitors so Leigh-Anne better lay off the lippy to stay in going forwards 💋

The Yorkshire Omaze house is in my village. Don’t know whether to buy a ticket

Trev’s on alert for tonight’s high jinx we’re expecting on Celeb Traitors