Jo Conklin Author

Hey there newskies! Quick intro: 📚 I write romcoms, urban fantasies, and witchy murder mysteries, and read widely across a lot of genres. ✨old, fat, AuDHD, queer, transmasc, alt text enthusiast, social cognitive psychology nerd ⛔️ TERFs, SWERFs, gen AI fans, “All Lives” and crypto bros can GTFO

Me: driving, 6am, still dark, grab my giant water bottle and give it a good shake to stir up the electrolytes. Also me: failed to notice my partner had already *very helpfully* opened my water bottle for me. My partner, his work clothes, his bag, his laptop, and his seat: is dampened. 🤦🏼

One of my favorite things about DC is the long, sunny, cool fall when I can wander the city on foot and sit in the sun without actively dying 😅 So I hiked a few miles down to the Wharf for a chicken bowl and falafel at a sunny table.

The reason why this was such an effective response is that El-Sayed focused on the *frame* of the question (the unspoken context and assumptions) rather than the surface-level question itself. The real question is always underneath. When you address *that,* their whole house of cards falls down.

I don’t know what part of my brain convinces me I can consume three overstuffed tacos and a large horchata and then walk another hour in the sun without consequences, but I feel like it’s the unfit old guy version of texting my ex after tequila. Like a bad decision Pokémon evolving into new species.

Sibling debate! I say a grilled cheese stops being a grilled cheese when you add meat (that’s a melt, not a GC), or egg (that’s a breakfast sandwich). My brother says it stops being a GC if the non-cheese ingredients exceed the cheese. I think that’s too low and cheese must be > 80% of the contents.

Tech oligarchs at Adobe, EA, Ubisoft, etc. melting down over slop bros decompiling their big corporate software/games with AI to distribute free versions is one of the most satisfying “Leopard Eating Faces” moments of 2026. Did you think the plagiarism machine was only going to steal art, bro? 🤔

Trying to put together a series pitch for Murder Grannies, which means I get to watch The Sopranos and call it book 3 research 😊

Currently on a miserable day 14 of my very first Covid infection, after accidentally letting my boosters lapse. Antivirals didn’t finish it off so I got to have a rebound infection just when it was clearing up and go through it all again. 0/10, do not recommend, would like to speak to a manager 😅

Joining in as I can to give feedback on practice pitches today, and encouraging mutuals to do the same! Posts with the #preDV tag are asking for your help polishing their pitches for the diverse voices pitch party. Let’s keep it encouraging and constructive 💜

When the Bird’s at the door And you’re missing Lenore Nevermoré

The Internet has ruined me, because I absolutely read this box wrong at first.

Me: I’d like a slice of pizza Server: that comes with three sides Me: I know what shape it is

Absolutely ghoulish 🤢 And I get that it’s an industry term, but also, Andy Lewis, could we please not refer to a collection of human beings as being part of a venture capitalist’s “stable,” especially when the article focuses so heavily on Langston Hughes and the Harlem Renaissance? 😬

I live in a studio with no balcony. Somebody tell me, “no!” 😭

I completely cleared my inbox down to zero, and found, unopened, misfiled by Gmail into a random folder, was an ARC approval from Netgalley from back in MARCH. So my special treat for clearing my inbox? I get to read Lethal Kiss by Taylor Grothe a month before I expected!! 🤩

Still looking to hire a sensitivity reader/cultural consultant for Cuban-American secondary characters (2nd+ gen) in a diverse working-class Florida neighborhood for Murder Grannies! If you know someone with that background who might be interested (and does NOT work with AI), please connect.

I don’t know the latest recalls on meat, but I just got ten pounds of pork loin for just over $20 and it feels like I stepped through a time vortex back to 00s grocery pricing.

An extra scoop of appreciation for making the circle on the right yellow. 10/10, no notes 🫡

Y’all are going to lose your minds for this one!! I got to beta read an early draft and it was already phenomenal, now I CANNOT WAIT to read the finished book! And that cover!!! 😭💜💜

Downgrade a movie: Four situationships and a head cold.

Make a movie sound as boring as possible without giving away the title: Bartender helps friend with immigration paperwork.

I would love to see inside Barbara Walters’s head during this interview, because her expression is so much like Trent Crimm when he realizes how badly he underestimated Ted Lasso as a force of gentle power. I wonder if Dolly planted a seed here, the way she often did. youtu.be/If-oWqUYzlQ?...

Not Tim Curry too!! 💔😭😭 WHATEVER’S IN RETROGADE OR GATORADE OR WHATEVER NEEDS TO STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

This! It taps into a heuristic called the peak-end rule. We generally judge how to feel about any human experience based on the most intense part (peak) and the end. Applying this on a smaller scale to reading a sentence, its emotional strength starts with the verb (peak) and the last word (end).

Ooof. This one hurts 😭😭

Woke up to find folks have discovered my old AI Hater Brigade starter pack! It started as a joke response to a block list, but turned out pretty cool 😜 I’ve cleaned out a few long-inactive folks (along with a few posting slop memes ☹️) Catching up on add requests now! bsky.app/starter-pack...

Please tell me Patton Oswalt is playing ART in Murderbot 2 Please tell me Patton Oswalt is playing ART in Murderbot season 2 Please tell me Patton Oswalt is playing ART in Murderbot 2 Please tell me Patton Oswalt is playing ART in Murderbot season 2…..

It’s not remotely in the budget, but these ads for bed cooling systems keep taking me up a high mountain and whispering promises in my ear 😭

Researching New Orleans for Murder Grannies 2 and came across a video about krewes that pronounced Mardi Gras as “Mar-dee Grass.” In case you were wondering about how much AI slop was still on YouTube after their supposed purge.

Attempt averted, as installing a new air filter (correctly this time) seems to have cured the rough idle problem 💪

After watching many tutorial videos from proper experts, I, a not-car-guy, am about to attempt to clean the throttle body plate in our car, without giving my partner cause to remember that time 14 years ago I took the lawnmower engine apart and had to wait for him to put it back together for me.

My brain now, whenever I see the DC Water utility logo.

So I know dongles are little plug in network security key fobs. But there are two men here talking about dongles. One has 3D printed his own dongle holder. He loves that it’s not too tight. Their friend had a dongle holder so tight he broke his dongle trying to pull it out. I swear I’m a grownup 😭

Turns out a lot of frustrations and steep learning curves using GIMP go away when you finally update the software from the version you downloaded back in 2018 😂

Graphic designing friends, what’s a reasonably-priced stock image source that’s minimal AI or other stolen work? I’d be looking for a mix of clip art and photo. Obviously I’d hire a professional for the important stuff, but I’d like to get my skills up enough to do my silly Instagram posts myself!

Twelve years ago today I married my best friend on a Lake Michigan Beach, with a handful of friends and family. It was a wedding on a grad student budget, with a homemade dress, farmer’s market flowers, my mom’s lemon cupcakes, and a ukulele jam to follow. It was perfect for us in every way. 💜

I’m starting the process of looking for a (paid) sensitivity reader who is Cuban or a Spanish-speaking American with Cuban cultural roots and community, to check me on secondary characters in Murder Grannies! Set in Tampa Bay Area. I’m hoping for mutuals or personal rec I can trust to use ZERO AI.

Is it expertly done? Definitely not 😂. Did I make it myself with Gimp and YouTube tutorials and coffee and cussing and not a single AI prompt? YUP. And every time I do, I get a little better at it. That’s what happens when you make things yourself. Skillbuilding, not slop.

I emerged from my editing cave today, and what is this burning ball of light in the sky? And why is the ceiling blue?

Leonard Nimoy’s 1974 recording may be the best possible way to experience There Will Come Soft Rains! youtu.be/nmcURKn2sf8

Some days I wake up very grumpy (like today) and then I see a Chuck Tingle post and I have to be like FINE. I’ll appreciate the magic of human existence, OKAY.

After a frantic month of revisions and a final line editing pass, Murder Grannies is off to my agent!! And while I wait to see if it’s just too unhinged to sell, I’ll be over here breathing into a paper bag 😂

So the weird relationship the British have with wicker furniture suddenly makes a lot more sense…🤔

In the same week a Black debut author lost a $2.4 million dollar deal over (so far unsubstantiated) “vibes” accusations of AI usage, seeing influencers rally around and make calls for nuance around Hank Green openly using ChatGPT for his work is a perfect illustration of white privilege in action.

Low budget science fiction novel adaptations: * The Mall Is A Harsh Mistress * Project Hi Mary How's It Going * Does Andy Dream of Electric Sheep? * The Travel Montage Before We Cut to a Small, Angry Planet * Have Space Suit — Will Travel Next Season, If We Get Renewed * Slaughterhouse 2 ½

Folks demanding that Carl be first and foremost cast to fit their personal preferences for hotness is supremely ironic given the themes of the whole DCC series 👀