MissMalkin

Cats by Shou Xin

JK Rowling’s transphobia has ruined Harry Potter. That is a shame, there was a real magic in the fantasy of it. As a kid, I always loved imagining going to private coed boarding school. Inheriting a big pile of money. Drinking non alcoholic beer. Owning a little slave guy

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

I don't disagree that leftist spaces are prone to ideological hair-splitting, but any time someone is like "we need to focus on material concerns, not ideological bullshit", your first question should always be "is this REALLY a purely ideological concern, or does it just not affect you personally?"

YOU - …I don't want to masturbate on the street, okay? ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Whatever, coward.

hey girl, you seem like you don't exist as a full person. like someone watered down your soul when you were born. anyway do you like having sex in the back seat of a honda civic?

the arc of history is long but it bends toward defeating Dracula

Isn't it such a good little bootlicker? You all enjoyed that video so much yesterday I thought I'd treat you to another. Can you imagine having to take your own boots off? A proper lady has puppies for that.

Emma Frost

in the sewers straight up jorkin it. and by it, i mean the clown

shiny chariot

Sure to be shared today by @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social

Properly have a name for my urban fantasy FitD thing

I once saw a video of a woman staring expressionlessly into the camera while jerking off a strap-on the size of her own forearm and wearing panda themed one-piece pajamas complete with little ears on the hood, and I feel like it would have been lessened as art had it attempted to explain itself.

ME: b-but Reverend Mother, we mustn’t, what if Shai Hulud hears the rhythm of our prayer and comes here and devours me?? MY DOMINATRIX: …I’m sorry can you explain all this again please

look if we're gonna have succubi I *need* the metaphysics of souls nailed down

i think being told my entire childhood that the worst thing you can do is invite yourself into a space may have affected me in some way...

Pediatric therapy sessions less lively than expected.

AI would never have Wesley Snipes tell a vampire "Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill." That is a thing that only a human could invent.

"Good Hunter... May you always remember: Even during the most violent, manic nights, one may find beauty all the same." Bloodborne illustration.

Speaking as a god, the offerings I love the most are the ones that are the bitterest for mortals to part with. I won't tell comforting lies, like any offering made in faith has worth to the divine. I love liquor and meat the most, because of how much grain and time you spent to make it.

Nintendo, every week: we are beating this small child with hammers for singing Super Mario bros theme in the shower.

constitutional birthright citizenship survives by 1 vote. and to think people were worried about this beautiful institution.

Doctor Trivago

Everybody wants to talk about how “addictive” porn is while Kalshi, Polymarket and Draftkings are sponsoring & advertising at every major media event, targeting primarily men, and bankruptcy rates have risen 30% since online betting was legalized

So jealous of the lawyer who had this walk into their office..

Pavlov is sitting in a bar when suddenly somebody walks in, ringing the bell over the door. Pavlov sits straight up, slaps his head with the heel of his palm and says "crap! I forgot to feed the dogs!"

Soft Snakegirl Snummy (snake tummy) Summer. Fantastically done by @ocatg.bsky.social

Mosquito coil

I was explaining Mechsploitation to a kinky cishet friend who said: "Oh, so the Handlers are the Alphas, and the Hounds are the Omegas. This is Omegaverse but for trans lesbians." And listen here you little shit-

Hypnotized is a compliment. Hypnotized means you're happy. Eager to please. You're a joy to be around, whether you're drooling for your favorite spiral or dutifully serving the needs of your betters. Hypnotized means cute. Hypnotized means happy. Smile, pet. You're so, *so* hypnotized right now~

watercolor🖌️

IMPROVISATIONHOUND "Sartha. Off The Cuff."

Also just physically capable and dangerous submissives in general are hot as fuck. Your service sub smelling like gunpowder, lead, and solvent is basically the domme equivalent of vassalizing a militarily superior enemy. She'll fight your battles for you on her knees and will win every time 🙂‍↕️