Matt Hurless

Typical. Elon believes that everything has a final solution

Things suck but at least Mitch McConnell is dead

🧵Members listed in the attached photos (taken from the second post on this thread, with alt text added) Images in quoted post below show a screenshot of Wikipedia post for the company Dialog, a screenshot of the Dialog's website, and a screenshot of the code for the website. (Thread continues 👇🏼)

The DARE officer was very explicit when he told us that you would never be a trillionaire if you were really into ketamine

America’s youngest congressman

The owners of the big giant razor blade warehouse are very nervous this morning

Yes, I was holding a knife with blood on it but I can assure you it is not related to the dead body behind me

Trump saying “Japan knows about surprises” to the PM’s face is one of the funniest things this fucking idiot has ever done.

It’s pretty funny that Marvel has said fuck it let’s remake Spider-man 2

From the generation that thinks Helen Keller isn’t real:

Washington Post takes the gold in the presidential hotdog swallowing contest

Meanwhile on twitter

They should call the foldable iPhone the MacBook Shuffle

Trump has fired Kristie Noem after she failed to hunt immigrants like her family dog

That’s just what they want you to think

That man has no idea who he is or what’s going on

Everyday people ask why hasn’t anyone on the Epstein list arrested themselves

As a veteran of the Four Loko generation I cannot imagine the stranglehold 99 shots would have had on us

Is it too late to post this joke?

I was going to vote democrat in the next election until Threads user Dingus_McButhole said not to

In the last 2 weeks Threads has gotten as bad as Facebook with conspiracy bullshit and I’m starting to hate spending time there

This Epstein stuff is really like a scooby doo plot. An evil rich man doing everything he can to establish a new world order, and he would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for all those kids

Retire

As somebody that’s never trusted crypto, learning that Epstein started bitcoin has been extremely vindicating

This is the facility I was denied entry to a week ago - even though I'm the top Democrat on the committee that funds DHS and I gave them plenty of notice. I told you they were hiding something. They were.

Elon is only in the files because his mom called Jeffery’s mom and asked if he could be

Trump raped and murdered kids, inspected them and sold them into prostitution. I have a feeling the “it’s totally ok for masked feds to shoot protestors” crowd isn’t going to care

Catherine O’Hara died, Don Lemon got arrested for journalism, unredacted Epstein files got posted by mistake, and Trump audibly shit his pants on camera. Jesus Christ what a long day

Liberals being surprised by right wing hypocrisy is fucking exhausting. These conservative fuck sticks have been like this for decades how are you not getting it?

Now would be a real good time for Grindr to post all the republican accounts

Before arguing with your MAGA relatives remember that they already believe that state sponsored execution is fine

So DHS is faking “evidence” of a gun on the man ICE officers murdered today in Minneapolis.

Finally saw Fire and Ash. Thought it was great. No idea why people bag on these movies especially when we’re getting some of the best action scenes Cameron’s ever done

This guy threw a LEICA. That’s like using a lambo in combat

Putin wants NATO gone. If Trump invades he gets it. If Trump doesn’t you can bet those Epstein Island snuff videos will mysteriously “leak” online

That was when Republicans started their victim complex bullshit

One thing about the Renee Good shooting I’m noticing is the amount of current and former law enforcement condemning the ICE agent. Maybe it’s just my algorithms but I’ve hardly seen anyone outside of weird maga sycophants supporting it

In spite of all the horrible things going on I’m making the effort this year to actually get my career off the ground so here’s a new clip of material I’m working on on the instagram page: www.instagram.com/reel/DTQVQuT...

Victims will be paid 13¢ for their trouble

Haven’t been on here for a while. The Threads outrage algorithm is strong

The worst part of the Netflix binge model is that if I want to watch a show it either has to be in one sitting or I just can’t use the internet for a few days without some dipshit posting spoilers

People who take the highway to avoid driving through black neighborhoods want you to know that safe spaces are for pussies

There’s a big false equivalence being made of Charlie Kirk and Jimmy Kimmel. Charlie was murdered by an asshole with a hunting rifle. Kimmel was forced off the air by the FCC. These are two wildy different things and only one of them is a free speech issue

A lot of people learned this week how many racists don’t even know what racism is

Charlie Kirk hated gays, thought civil rights was a mistake, believed rich jews were corrupting america, think women should be brood mares, thought empathy was a disease, and thinks dead kids is a necessary sacrifice for the sake of preserving gun violence.

I wish youtube chefs would stop gaslighting people that salmon will release itself

I’m sick of the “if it was Biden” comparisons but the fact that Trump is a walking corpse and the news is only talking about a crosswalk is particularly egregious

It would be pretty funny if he’s dead so then CBS uncancels Colbert

JD Vance is worse than Trump in the same way that being set on fire is worse than getting shot in the head