Chuck (translucent)

Hey friends, this is always hard for me because I hate to ask for help. But my wife and I are trying to adopt and that costs a lot of money! If you can't donate, please don't feel bad, it's hard out there. Please share if you have a sec: www.gofundme.com/f/support-ch... #adoption #AdoptionSky

[slipping several water park coupons to the guy at the M&M's store] Take me to the room with the talking ones that are the size of large dogs

Goddamn rest in peace to Eric Bauza. Supremely talented guy, every bit the heir to Mel Blanc. So tragic.

bad news. it’s actually kind of nice to log off and get your chores done

i hate having to talk to the computer like its a person instead of sand we forced to do math using lightning

I don't think we need much more Bad Place evidence than "they're bringing back Glee"

Didn't realize a 4DX system could be set to "unnaturally still"

Got tickets to the 4DX version of You Can See Everything. Looking forward to all the breathing

This is the American Dream

My cartoon in the October 26, 2026 issue of The New Yorker

EDDIE. IT'S MARVIN. YOUR COUSIN MARVIN VEDDER. YOU KNOW THAT NEW SOUND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR? WELL LISTEN TO THIS [I hold the phone up to a struggling blender]

Not to minimize it but this is how people feel about improv comedy, live sports, jazz, and lots of other things. Which is to say that professional wrestling *belongs with those things* and not as some lower-tier form of art

Images you can hear

rip to a riehle one

[me at a very fancy party] What's 'Benjipilling,' you ask? Let me answer your question with a question - what do you think it takes to become one of the most successful independent filmmakers of all time? Is it dedication to the craft, the enjoyment of creation? Or just a cute dog? The year is 1974,

Ruin a movie by changing a word? Child's play. I'm ruining the movie by changing the whole title. I'm changing the lead actors. "Lord of the Rings" is now called "Volcano Bros" and it's starring all Baldwins. The soundtrack is Hans Zimmer on a single kazoo. There, it's ruined

Scribbling a genius idea in my half-sleep at 3am, waking up to find that I've just written "llms but with an ass" on my hand in sharpie

TOMORROW 🦇⚰️🩸 Tune in on Twitch for an extra-special D&D one-shot with Dice Rolls For Good, supporting mental health in games. Feat. Doug Cockle Ashleigh Haddad Shai Matheson Natalie Winter Jonas Gawe Dave Jones and Hollie Bennett ⌛ Rolling for initiative 4pm UK-time 📅 17.10.2026

"You have to acknowledge the flying tesla car is cool" no I don't, in the same way I don't have to acknowledge that "Dr. Snakeoil's Brainulation Tonic" tastes pretty good even though it's just diluted bleach with grape flavoring

OCT. 15, 1994: Upon completion of all primary and secondary analysis the subject appears to be a Great Dane, average size, high BMI. His shots appear to be in order. Despite Agent Mulder's insistence, I can find no evidence that the dog was able to vocalize meaningfully or, indeed, solve mysteries

Cause of injury, age 24: Running up stairs two at a time while carrying a 40lb tray of hot restaurant dishes Cause of injury, age 43: Stood up and stretched, perhaps *too* far

add a photo you took of something good

This was probably in second grade when all the other guys were in a secret corner swearing and pointing out the boobs in a Where's Waldo book, and I remember thinking "They're acting like such children"

The producers of “KPop Demon Hunters” are surprisingly uninterested in my pitch for “Alt-Country Mummy Stompers”.

[Squinting] this filter doesn't seem that great at all

This isn't going to kill closed-source software, it's going to push developers towards products that will require internet connectivity and never fully download onto your device. The alternative will be a million billion slop clones, a significant number of which will have viruses in them for fun

Ditka has passed. Drape the Sears Tower in black

Still unreasonably mad at Spielberg about this

Oh no. RIP Big Bird

[my first day in the midwest] Wait, when did they make an Independent Annapolis

It's called being green maybe you verd of it

I was tempted to pirate HP, curiosity and all that. But @jessiegender.bsky.social is right - think of the amount of times HBO commented on GOT leaks and downloads, just as an example. They DO track these things, and even that drives interest. Let this show die. Trans people deserve better.

Nobody's going to feel confident when the secure door opens and a chipmunk turns his giant bulbous head and looks down the aisle. That's just not his lane and the people know that, instinctually

I'm fine with the pilots being furries BUT the cockpit should be staffed ONLY by animals who can fly (eagles, sexy cardinals, flying squirrels). They've thought about the whole process a lot more

Liberty biberty was created to make us angry. It was distilled from all of the worst ideas in a marketing department by a janitor that collected garbage scraps and soaked them in old grease. It's okay to kill it -- it's *right* to kill it

AHHHHHHH

Wow. He's really changed

My mother interacting with the cats (Stuart, top left, was misbehaving)

September 30th vs. October 1st