Greg the Miller

no i don’t want to “hang out” i only want to be perceived two sentences at a time by strangers on the internet

you bitch

is it true "mustard gas comes from mustard ass"

Skipping joyfully in the fall has an entirely different feeling to it, especially in the old graveyard, even a zombie can pronounce tra la la and then it's cynicism that's dead

"you don't have to post every thought you have" well that is news to me

I love when people don't get the joke.

Sneaking a bite out of all the potatoes in the produce section

i hate having to talk to the computer like its a person instead of sand we forced to do math using lightning

No one is giving their expensive drugs to your kids for Halloween. Calm down

regular salsoup orchestra over here

Them: nice runner’s legs Runner: thx! you wanna see my feet?

"likes and reposts your half-thought-out joke because at least you're trying*

Kiss me, I’m full of whimsy and unimaginable sadness.

I read some tips on how to become a better person, but first I gotta finish this beer.

you’re laughing? her name was lola she was a showgirl and she lost her youth, her tony, and her mind at the copacabana and YOU’RE LAUGHING??

WRONG mustard gas is when i eat too many pretzels and cant stop farting

Introverts are often told to socialize and talk more, while extroverts are rarely encouraged to shut the fuck up.

The problem with some of my favorite streaming shows is that they are for some reason allowed to have a last episode of the season.

butterfly that metamorphosis’s back into a caterpillar (i am out of posts and becoming a reply guy)

Can't sleep, clown will eat me

"lectern, not a podium" versus "trebuchet, not a catapult" in: THE PEDANTRY WARS

Of all the senses, adventure is my favorite

coming back from disassociating mid conversation with someone: “my bad, my controller died… what’d you say?”

Actually Greg I would prefer to stay here while YOU get my chores done. Thanks love you

i used to need alarms to wake up but now i just wake up to the overwhelming sense of dread every morning

My cat yells at me every time I sneeze and I always apologize to him

perfect, no notes

you’re on Discover, I’m not even Popular With Friends. we are not the same

Be kind. Everybody’s here getting attention the best way they know how.

she’s either a sorceress or an enchantress i don’t know witch