It's Michael

We’ve never needed Nick Hexum’s voice more than we do now in this era of haters and charlatans

Getting dopamine hits from the Venmo activity feed

“The Iran War was lost because Trump and Miller and Hegseth simply couldn’t believe that White people wouldn’t be triumphant. That notion was truly incredible to them.”

Hey man come over, we're watching ready player one nude. We're all gonna point at the screen and wild out when they show garfield or whoever. Rest of the time, we're free to explore the pleasures of each other's bodies. Eyes, hands, mouth, it's all good. It's just skin man. Just garfield and skin.

Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow

(making small talk) how many chili dogs have you sucked on

A Hellboy sequel where he finally grows up to be Hellman so he can take over the family mayonnaise business

There are 206 bones in the human body, which is way too many. My administration will cut this down to 100 bones

Imagine producing four such iconic images in the past three years

This is always happening to me. I’ve lost 5 houses this way, but I’ll never give up my night dress

I see the bots in everybody because I’m an Optimus