Pa-Julee

Eat shit, lol, and long live The Onion.

Make polling place hours 9:07 AM to 9:11 AM and you must arrive on a unicycle.

So, to wrap up today's insanity: President Trump, who is deeply implicated in a pedophilia scandal involving his best friend, the sex trafficker, sent Attorney General Bondi -- who only has that job because Trump's first choice was also implicated in a separate pedophilia scandal -- to the House...

Give them nothing! Your patronage is literally killing you.

On every important vote that matters, Susan Collins votes with Trump. Every time her vote could stop something he’s trying to do, she votes with him. She is a fake moderate with a MAGA voting record. A vote for Susan Collins is a vote to give Trump more power.

Switzerland does not have a Prime Minister. He’s probably confusing it with the time he spoke with the President of Puerto Rico.

I have a dream

ICE Barbie’s full name is Kristi Lynn Arnold Noem. The initials spell KLAN. Sometimes the universe writes the joke itself.

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Good morning. The goal of the anti-vaccine movement is not “medical freedom.” That’s just a lie. They literally want to ban vaccines. RFK Jr & allies have filed legal requests for the government to take shots for Covid, polio, and hepatitis B off the market so you have no choice.

A Minneapolis knitting shop has resurrected the design of a Norwegian cap worn to protest Nazi occupation. Its owner says the money raised from hat pattern sales will support the local immigrant community.

ICE Math Is Very Telling 2.1 million undocumented in Texas. Florida is 1.6 million. What vexes us? Minnesota’s 130,000 is a smaller population. Why is ICE there? It’s not about immigration.

I've never had a colonoscopy but I imagine reading the news in America is like having one but the tube has metal spikes on it and the opening is lined with honey and ants.

“Which is why we are posthumously indicting Paul Revere.”

Trump immediately declared that the synagogue tried to run over the arsonist and the arsonist only burned it down in self-defense.

Why??? EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN That’s why. Not just him but the other mega wealthy who also are in the files. #Pinks #ReleaseTheEpsteinFilea

No. You don't get to pretend it's the Dems' fault when the GOP President of the United States just went all the way to the SUPREME COURT to keep food away from poor people. FULL stop.

The U.S. is a country whose president sues for the right to starve people (including 16 million children) and whose Supreme Court grants him that right. The United States is a sick nation. www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-...

40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion

Good morning. This doesn’t look or feel great. When do we start being great?

MAGA!

Republicans today: We don’t want to extend the ACA subsidies because insurance companies are making too much money! Amazing.

I live in Kentucky. A large portion of the population here depend on assistance, like SNAP, and a large percentage support Trump. He is NOT supporting them now. That is not who WE are. Please donate to your local food banks if you can, wherever you live.

Let them eat SPAM...

Extra smelly mustard if you please.

Trump shutdown.

In the MAGA version of the Bible, Jesus miraculously multiplies the loaves and the fishes, then refuses to share the food with a famished crowd and instead ships it all to Argentina.

Undefeated

Like a week ago the CFPB dropped its investigation into Meta over stuff like this, btw

💰⚖️⚙️

Democrats may have swept last night but it was only in deeply blue states like Mississippi and Georgia and Ohio and North Carolina and Pennsylvania and Maine and...

That’s $6332.45 per American voter.

"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." –Justice Louis Brandeis Words spoken many years ago that are just as relevant today. We must continue the fight to get big money out of politics.

A terrific AFP fact check uses reverse image searches to expose how a White House video took scenes from Florida, Texas, South Carolina and Nebraska and lied that they showed "Chicago is in chaos." factcheck.afp.com/doc.afp.com....

I don’t understand why we need a “Columbus Day” when this country celebrates incompetent white men failing up and taking what isn’t theirs all year round.

In his own words: the President is responsible for the shutdown.

🎯