Patton Oswalt

My mantra.

Amazing news! My special BLACK COFFEE AND ICE WATER won a Gold & Listeners Choice Signal Award! Thank you to everyone who listened to the special and voted. If you still haven’t, you can check it out on Audible (unless you hate award winning audio for some reason)

NEW SHOW! I’m doing another Patton Oswalt and Friends 11/22 at the Largo with special guests @blairsocci @chelsanity and a mystery third guest I wouldn’t dare announce just yet! Tickets at pattonoswalt.com

The lineup for this year’s CREATOR CON BLOCK PARTY is insane. EVERYONE SAID YES. See you Saturday, November 7th at Revenge of Comics and Pinball in Eagle Rock!!!

Finally got to see Emma Tammi’s THE WIND (2018). Seek it out. It’s on @kanopy.com right now. Wide-open folk horror with moody, slow-burn shocks. Don’t sleep on this one.

When the boys hear the McRib is back.

Gawt DAMN

Remember kids: you get what you get and you don’t get upset.

I remember — literally — none of this. Not one second of it. Complete memory wipe.

The amount of genius insight to human psychology in this 1.5 minute bit is incredible www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rgf4... @mariabamford.bsky.social @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

Mark your calendar! @stephenking.bsky.social @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

My special BLACK COFFEE AND ICE WATER is nominated for a Signal Award! The winner is in your hands!!! You can vote until October 15 at vote.signalaward.com

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

When you recognize the subway hijacker’s sneeze.

Sweet Shop is now open! 4 killer bundles from @darkhorse.com have dropped: - Minor Threats by @pattonoswalt.bsky.social & @blumjordan.bsky.social: $10 - All of @brianmbendis.bsky.social: $20 - @mikemignola.bsky.social's Hellboy: $25 & B.P.R.D.: $25 15% of Sweet's proceeds go to BINC.

POSTER REVEAL! My October tour art is by the incredible @mikeholmesdraws. He rocks. Santa Fe, Mesa, and Tucson, see you soon. Tickets at pattonoswalt.com!

The illustrious @pattonoswalt.bsky.social on Hammer Head. Final Order Cutoff is tomorrow -- Monday, September 21st. Get your orders in to your shops to guarantee a copy!

Goodbye Rose City Comic-Con! I’ll miss you the most, Llama-For-Some-Reason!

Holy crap!! @pattonoswalt.bsky.social and @stephenking.bsky.social I had no idea this was in the works. I’m currently rereading the series and I should finish Black House just in time for it to come out. www.audible.com/pd/B0GL11R3Y...

Yo @rosecitycc.bsky.social here’s my Saturday schedule. I will also be at the Friday night drink and draw with @pattonoswalt.bsky.social & @blumjordan.bsky.social and tabling with @david-mack.bsky.social

Apparently people are sharing this far and wide on social media, which I think is horrible. This could cripple ICE operations. PLEASE do not share this.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

In every instance, and in multiple genres, when you see this in the end credits it means you’ve just watched a great show. New Girl. The Dropout. Dying For Sex. Furious (the season finale has dropped!). There is no better writer working in TV right now.

hey! here is handy link to all the cool classes available @rosecitycc.bsky.social Including mine, @stevelieberart.bsky.social @pattonoswalt.bsky.social @blumjordan.bsky.social @cullenbunn.bsky.social and more! checkout.conventions.leapevent.tech/eh/Rose_City...

This morning, the Coldstream Guards at Buckingham Palace performed a tribute to Dolly Parton. The last time I remember the guards at the palace honoring the memory of an American entertainer was when they paid tribute to Aretha Franklin after she passed away.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Jake Lang getting his Nazi ass beaten by Spider-Man in Minneapolis today is the ray of sunshine I needed.

Love how all the headlines and cable pundits are, “Well, Angie Nixon addressed and promised action on the issues the majority of people have been OPENLY AND CLEARLY SCREAMING ABOUT FOR THE LAST DECADE and somehow she pulled off a ‘surprise’ victory! Politics sure is crazy, huh?”

Gonna be hard to outthink those neural networks when the only thoughts the they have are “KILL ME” on a loop.

Hey — my good buddy Joe Eurell is doing a new hour of material at the mighty WGIS Theatre on Monday, September 14th. Joe’s one of the smartest, funniest and darkest joke writers in the biz and I hope you all go support this weirdo genius.

@pattonoswalt.bsky.social ate here in our hometown. (We decided to do brunch here this morning.) #Olympia #Row #PattonOswalt

Next Sunday is an all-new Patton Oswalt & Friends at Largo at The Coronet. Chris Fleming, Ian Edwards and Tom Papa. We’ve all got new stuff we’re building, we’re all working on new specials, it will be raw and hilarious. Tickets are halfway gone. See you all the way there.

domo arigato

Chef Backyardee

NEW ART! My latest poster is by the incredible @davidplunkert. Check out his other work at davidplunkert.com. And come see me in Lexington, Kentucky on 9/4!

This is the tenth anniversary of this photograph of Kristen Schaal, which I took backstage at a Brooklyn comedy festival as a MASSIVE thunderstorm was rolling in. This is the moment the rain started and she DANCED IN THE MAELSTROM.

Cyclospora was my favorite character in The Odyssey and whatnot.

Love how The New Deal restaurant on Magnolia in Burbank brings out your check folded into old hardback books. Yummy grilled cheese, too!

All-new PATTON OSWALT & FRIENDS at Largo at The Coronet Sunday, August 16th! Chris Fleming! Ian Edwards! Tom Papa! Tickets going fast! See you there?

They left a letter out of the sign for this Brazilian waxing spa. #typo

This is lovely. @pattonoswalt.bsky.social recalling some experiences with #RobinWilliams after another epic @mariabamford.bsky.social show. I miss Robin, and I miss the #Meltdown. A comic book store where you could play DND, and shop for nerd gear, AND there’s comedy in the back room? Paradise.

A Dish Served Cold Week begins! TFH Guru @pattonoswalt.bsky.social kicks off the week with a brand-new trailer commentary on Riders of Justice, calling it “the worst title for the best movie.” Don’t read about it. Just watch it. trailersfromhell.com/riders-of-ju...

🎉 @darkhorse.com has revealed its full #SDCC2026 plans! Meet creators like Frank Miller, Jonathan Hickman, @jefflemire171.bsky.social, Nathan Fillion, David Dastmalchian, @pattonoswalt.bsky.social, @tomking.bsky.social, and many more, plus panels, exclusives, and free signings. Details:

Oh WOW!!!

No notes.

Oh my god HOME RUN

Just finished reading @pattonoswalt.bsky.social’s “Silver Screen Fiend: Learning About Life from an Addiction to Film”. 10/10 - An absolute must for those of us who love and learn through the art of film.