redbennett.bsky.social

Election Officials Warn That Ballots Tied To Stray Cat Unlikely To Arrive In Time https://theonion.com/election-officials-warn-that-ballots-tied-to-stray-cat-unlikely-to-arrive-in-time/

My mind remains un-boggled on this one, bud.

Same people who seem to think it’s bad for China to beat us at AI are perfectly fine with China beating us at high speed rail, solar energy, wind energy, shall we go on

Once you understand the corporate culture of AI hyperscalers is everyone cooking their brains by locking themselves in the bathroom, holding flashlights under their chins, and saying "Aaaaaaaaaay Eyeeeeeee" until they wet themselves in terror, things snap into focus: pluralistic.net/2023/06/04/a...

New guy.

Being afraid of people when you wanna make new friends is such a hard thing, that also makes sense and is also such a hard thing and also makes sense!!!

Nature is healing.

Increasingly convinced this is the most important post

comic about the age of decay

they should make a horror movie where a guy accidentally gets into a machine with a fly, and the movie follows the fly as he slowly becomes human and is forced by the hand of capital to get a job, crying when he can't remember the last time he rubbed his hands together while standing on a windowsill

play kingdom hearts ♥️

Man, I knew the right was being general pissbabies because a black woman is in The Odyssey but I've mostly tuned out those people and I wasn't aware just how full on Nazi they went in their quest to defeat a movie they could never make a dent in. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dexj...

Is it weird that I miss COVID lockdown? I dunno, I’m mentally wired to thrive under those exact conditions.

Isekai as a genre is exploding in popularity because it appeals to a universal desire to get hit by a truck rather than live in the 21st century.

I'm no economist but is 5 tech companies hiding $1.65t of debt from their books good?

Biologists Observe Geese Eating Tool https://theonion.com/biologists-observe-geese-eating-tool/

they name evil shit after Lord Of The Rings because the only other books they pretend to read are called things like "How To Train Your Brain To Optimum Efficiency" (157 pages. summarized by llm). or, like. "The Battle Of Very Big Hill" (873 pages. unopened, on nightstand, next to the gun he'll use)

celebrate good times come on

*leaves the house* this is horrible

Good morning

Good Scissors Not In The Fucking Drawer https://theonion.com/good-scissors-not-in-the-fucking-drawer-1827516871/

Kentucky Gov. Requests McConnell Update the Public on His Health Amid Weeks Long Hospitalization talkingpointsmemo.com/news/kentuck...

I don't get why regressives are mad about some deaths being celebrated. If they actually lived good lives, wouldn't they go to heaven, which would be a cause for celebration?

Grandmother Classifies 79% Of Everything A Shame https://theonion.com/grandmother-classifies-79-of-everything-a-shame-1819570875/

Report: Ants Having Some Kind Of Party Inside Crack In Pavement https://theonion.com/report-ants-having-some-kind-of-party-inside-crack-in-1826939903/

Oh my god. Honey, don't move.

One of the most extraordinary trends in modern politics is when somebody says something like “Nazism and sexual violence are absolutely unacceptable in a civilized society” and immediately somebody like JD Vance responds “I deeply resent this direct attack on American conservatives.”

Closet Cleanout is BACK this week on my Instagram!!!☯️I made a cute video for you that'll go up tonight where you can see the Very Cool 90s Clothes im selling. If you see something you love, DM me, make me an offer, and I'll ship it to you!! I think this is a very cute thing so tell your friends!!🌻

Sucks that this 64 year old Rocky & Bullwinkle joke still hits now

Experts Agree Giant, Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat

The place I donate blood gives points that you can exchange for gas cards which means I actually know the current exchange rate of blood for oil. Blood is going for 20.618 times an equivalent amount of oil.