The Merciless Peppers of Quetzlzacatejimbo

Become ungovernable

“Yes alright cuntstable I’ll move along.” “What did you call me?” “Cuntstable.” “I’d thank you to pronounce it Constable.” “Alright there’s no need to be a cont about it.”

I so want this to be real I am so fucking excited

Labour now briefing young people won't get the same minimum wage uplift. Even Starmer didn't break this pledge. Workers rights mean same rights, pay & conditions, same rate for the same job. What does this Labour government have against young people? inews.co.uk/news/politic...

Project an air of authority by saying that your doctor has a you appointment

I don’t recognise the authority to arrest me of any person who didn’t use msn messenger.

www.maptap.gg October 27 97🔥 92👑 87🎓 97🔥 98🔥 Final score: 948 Smug. I’m feeling smug.

Oh god what have they done pink hearts what

This is just the sign you see in the reception of my brain

Me when there’s something that isn’t but /could be/ a spider on the ceiling

I’m /sure/ my brain just concocted this to freak me out but for some reason I have a probably false memory of a poster at the leisure centre for like “recognising meningitis” or “how to tell it from some other disease” and there being an illustration with little tiny beetles in the spinal cord.

#ripchekov

Lula Goes HARD

I read an incredibly miserable article once about how these don’t exist and like first of all it’s a funicular it’s not that complicated and second sure they don’t in the same way that the US military doesn’t have satellites that can read a newspaper over your shoulder from high earth orbit.

Remi Dekker, son of resistance fighter Freddie Oversteegen has this to say about our minis! 😍 I am blown away! Also pic of when we met up recently, he got a special painted one by John Morris. (KS on now www.kickstarter.com/projects/bad...)

I am so fucking tired

“Look what the cat’s dragged in” was probably really fuckin funny the first time someone said it.

VERY STRESSED AND ANXIOUS AND PANICKY ALL OF A SUDDEN

Sideshow Bob very nearly gave up his entire evil plan rather than say out loud that he liked MacGyver.

You’re welcome

“As a Christian I prefer to hear my preaching from the mouth of a serpent.”

“Oh it’s dark so early” Good. These are the dark times. These are the ME times.

@nocontextsiobhan.bsky.social Did they make you delete that reply?

Oh sure but when I do it it's weird.

Trump died in 2018 but his body double is real sick

Went to Taco Bell earlier. There was a guy wearing Versace jeans, Versace t shirt, Versace belt, d&g boxers and Gucci shoes and honestly the whole fit looked like it could’ve been emulated for about forty (40) pounds (£).

The sad thing is though most of us do. The world isn’t in the state it’s in because of a wealth-hoarding majority.

Did my dad write this

Wait they're using our murder dogs for evil??

Started a new “at home” book last night

equip this to stunlock BBC editors

And then a video of a bowling ball firing squad executing a load of pins played.

You have to laugh at the sheer insanity of Turning Point UK being found to be organising literal contract killings and paid agitation at protests up and down the country and it barely even raises a flicker across the press. If that isn't 'terrorism' on some level I don't really know what is

It is irresponsible to let your children watch paw patrol. Teaching your kids the swear words means they won’t use them irresponsibly, and won’t be bad at swearing for as long. Spending less than six pounds on a little treat does not contribute to the “spoiling them” quota.

I’ve been seeing a lot of performative “people are idiots to have kids look how much free time I have” posting recently (not from you guys) so in an attempt to redress the balance, a great thing about having kids is that occasionally you’ll find something like this under your pillow:

Absolute belter of a rainbow we saw on the way home.