Saplith

Thank you to my son and his day care for this terrifying Father’s Day gift.

lmao The Sun has a livestream of the “LA riots” on YouTube and when you click on it it’s a bunch of troops standing around doing nothing you can literally hear birds singing in the background what a time to be alive

6yo is just very unhinged today I see. "I wish you were a sight words, but you're not. You're just a human" She's ready for the end of the school year I see

I have a bag of rare to find chips that I hid away. Every non-fast day I forget to take them from their hiding spot and eat them

I'm 36/12 fasting and I'm not sure what this says about me that my mouth keeps longing for oatmeal as I tend towards bed. I always break my fast with oatmeal which has some sugar in it and I guess my body noticed lol

Explaining supplychain shortage to my 6yo has been one of the more depressing parts of parenting.

I drove 45mins away to handle some stuff. A Cheesecake Factory was nearby, so me and 6yo had lunch there. The waiter sat some people next to us after we'd ordered. It was a friend who lived far away too. What are the chances?

6yo is certain that stickers that go on cars are not called bumper stickers. So certain that she has declared that she's going to record herself asking various people what it's called and they're going to say car sticker. Good luck with that kid 🤣

Me, every night before bed: I won't stay up reading the news Me, 10 mins later: damn it God I wish the world was boring again

6yo: I didn't want to you. It was really awful and bad, but... I broke a pencil at school 😥 I don't know why she needed to come clean about this today 🤣

I definitely did not expect to have a discussion about the family you're given and rhe family you choose with 6yo last night. I didn't know she was having since inner turmoil and confusion. Anyway she has claimed one of my good friends as an auntie lol

I accidentally left my wallet at home and I had to use up all my emergency cash at the restaurant 😭 It was so incredibly lucky I just recently decided to carry more than $20

how fun some books are to read to your kids, 1-10: Jamberry (first time): 10 Chugga Chugga Choo Choo (first time): 8 Jamberry (9,000th time): 4 Every Sandra Boynton book: 9 Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus: 8 Jamberry (19,000th time): 2

What I love about Kagi is that when a site makes me super mad, I can just ban it from my search results. I love never seeing spam sites again

My daughter told me the grilled cheese was too “grilly“. She has a law degree. And one in linguistics.

the two modes of media consumption i’m stuck between are Maybe I Want To Watch A Movie That Profoundly Reshapes My View of Life and The World vs maybe i wanna watch a guy crush a rock with a bigger rock on youtube

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

6yo, about going down a big ramp on a bike: it feels like a football turned into a hotdog and hit me in the face.

Me: let me try the demo of this game to see if 6yo can play it Me, 30mins later: OMG, I love this game. Buying now. For me.

He's a 10 but only in binary code

6yo had a sleep over and I thought it would be fine, but it turns out that mixing more than 2 parenting styles is a horrible thing to deal with. I now empathize with teachers even more than I did

I thought I was going to be social this evening, but after my sleep was broken twice by 6yo and a rare 90min commute, my body said nah

whole house has the stomach flu and the baby straight up doesn’t care. she is giggling and clapping while she barfs. she’s like what, this shit is hard for you? get on my level

6yo has been in private school for years. People come from up to an hour away. Now that she's in public school I feel like an idiot every time I get an invite. "Oh, you live right next to me lol" like there was any other possibility 🤦🏾‍♀️

6yo: We're rich because we have popcorn Honestly with how movie confession prices are, she's not wrong

I have way too much salt about the fact that w is literally double-u. It's like there's some kind of grand conspiracy in the English language to hide that w used to be a vowel

So, my new alarm system starts shouting "OMG, I HEARD YOUR CARBON MONOXIDE ALARM" AND I freak because I didn't. I play the video back. Y'all, it's the birds outside. Good job alarm system 🤦🏾‍♀️

Popeyes has a pickle sauce for their chicken sandwich. I love pickles. I've been longing for another one every since I tried it today

6yo: I wish you didn't work, but still have money Me too, kid. Me too

I've been on vacation all week and it's been amazing to sleep in all week. I'm definitely going to regret this on Monday

I found this new ramen shop and it was amazing. I'm so happy to finally have a good replacement for the one that closed the next town over

"Okay, but you need to figure out something for me to do or I'll be bored" That feels like a threat from my 6yo kid

I'm surprised at how superior anything is to mobile for puzzle games. I played a nonogram game on my steam deck and it was just way better than every time I played on my phone. Precise input matters even in this.

6yo: I'm very serious 😠 Wait. What does "serious" mean? 🤓

The worst thing about spicy food in restaurants near me is that it's usually not spicy

Doctor: Take this with food Me: How bad could it be 🤷‍♀️ Aftermath: Extremely bad 🤢

All of the kids at the party 6yo got invited to were ND. Let me tell you, there's nothing like watching ND parents handle ND kids to let you know how you are Doing It Wrong(tm). I thought I was managing 6yo okay but lol I'm sucking

I found a reading game for 6yo and she seems to be having her mind blown that she can read instructions. She feels so powerful reading "Get the cat" and then making the character get the cat Reading has become so much more interesting to her now that she sees a point.

I made the mistake of answering 6yo's question about what do you call a number with 100 zeros and now she keeps trying to see if something has a goggol things. Slight regret

When we bitch about parenthood, it's not because we want to give up what we have, it's because we want to get back what we've lost. And despite all our venting, we still wouldn't make that trade. We just wish we could have both.

I was lamenting that I'd have to turn on my AC when it was going to be so cold in the morning. Then I remembered that every bedroom has ceiling fans. Problem solved