Schmeev

“god youre so tight” i say, attempting to extract a cartridge from my nes

yo mamas so dumb she took her phone to the dentist cause she heard it had bluetooth i feel like yo mama jokes went out before this one had a chance

what are you doing step-sistine chapel

"first my car, then she tries to ruin my career, now my family??" bitch you killed her husband #rewatchingtheshield

vic bringing in the assistant chief and julian having to look on like "OH SO WHEN I TRY TO BRING A CRIMINAL COP TO JUSTICE IT MEANS IM GAY??"

rewatching the shield and i forgot how much of this series wouldnt have happened without homophobia lol hell, if julian just had the fucking fortitude he pretended to have to stand up and accept "accountability" for his "sinful" ways or if cops didnt suck

cloud’s identity crisis 🐥 #ff7rebirth

heh, ill slay* your spire** * suck ** cock

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

scene opens in a war room. a massive map of the united states is on the wall with strategic targets highlighted. a general turns to a figure facing away from the camera. "its time to strike, we have to choose our first target" ella langley turns, smiling, and winks at the camera

this is one of the first games i ever bought on steam and i really gotta get around to beating it sometime. awesome game ive just bounced off a bunch of times, but every time i come back i get a liiiiil farther

this game is so fuckin good and its incredible how well it pulls off being as brown as possible without looking bland

[job interview] interviewer: so god killed all your kids? job: that's right

theres an old flash game where you play checkers against a tied up and burlap sacked lara croft and every win strips her further until a scene and i think it was more respectful than her treatment in tomb raider 2013, like someone took the tomb raider 2 ending scene really personally

one of those 'lost a bet bro so now we gotta have gay sex' porns but the game being bet on is mahjong and they never actually get to the sex because it's taking forever to learn/nobody can retain the rules or hands

"why would I deceive you?"

coward of the county is unironically my pacifist anthem

happy @pollyhead.bsky.social day

thinking about the fact that a juggalo kid somewhere has my copy of republic by plato from winning a faygo chugging contest. i wonder if hes read it and hates socrates now

an old comic I didn’t feel like updating to be about ai but is still basically about ai anyway because we’ve always been living in hell

i need another always sunny scholar to hang out and debate what i see as the character assassination of luther macdonald in mac finds his pride

It's important to remind everyone that some absolute madlad, before LLMs ruined all mod voice acting forever, got a girl into a recording booth and redid every single voice line in Deus Ex to let you play as a girl www.moddb.com/mods/the-lay...

I have seen my first bit of candy corn hate, and as the herald of "lol i bet it tastes like ass" jokes, my duty is clear. Come and preorder before prices go up and shipping begins October 1st. Happy Swalloween. www.funkittoys.com/shop/p/candy...

hey @spiderfrog.bsky.social im reading head cleaner and having a good time with it, but id like to respectfully ask what the fuck happened with the editing in this book man i could wait until the end to see if theres a reason because its egregious but i dunno just thought id ask. fun read still

WWE had to update their Never Forget 9/11 shirt because they never forgot to AI generate the correct amount of stars and stripes on the flag the best wrestling company in the world

ever have weird thoughts of having the power to stop time but youre still tethered so time is just permanently stopped and get freaked out

i am telling people, against go past tense yourself, scott

i love so much that @hdoomguy.bsky.social goes by that handle. hi just throwing appreciation in your direction while pondering aloud if you ever had the horrible thought of creating hduke

update: finished it, hell yeah. had to do 2 endgame runs because i initially got a 9, i forgot to cap a scumbag since he was so inconsequential having to babysit allies for that little bit was less than stellar, but i made it work. shoutout to @lcsoft.bsky.social, what a fuckin experience (now dlc)

this game is weird and it rips, play it. im currently working on what i assume to be the last chapter of it, its been a ride. big deus ex meets shadowrun vibes, and i love both of those also this game doesnt hold your hand, you gotta learn to pronounce oaxaca on your own

sucks to lose tim curry but he lives on through his work and every jumper from way outside knocked down by his son

inside of you are two wolves you are cheating on edward

brigand: oaxaca did not teach me to pronounce oaxaca, but it is the reason i learned how to pronounce oaxaca

burger king dems bonkey kong dems bubger kirg dems bandit keith dems black knight 2000 pinball table by williams dems

its catherine combs' birthday today (the sister from the folgers commercial)

i dont wanna say the words lest i summon the bots but if there was someone out there with a "being ignored by a 36 year old" kink who wanted to pay me to not acknowledge them, i could absolutely do that

alright no one discoursed about me yesterday so today in retribution i will be resurrecting pawg discourse, on the side that it should be pronounced with an f

its my birthday so all the discourse today has to be about how much you love me

my political beliefs are most easily described as "just play oddworld"

french guy realizing the person he hooked up with was his cousin "inc'est la vie"

i snap my stockings against my THIIIIIIIGHS