Shay Hoffman

Every few weeks some cynical edgelord who wants to feel More Sophisticated And Leftist than I am will tell me that I've seen the last free & fair election in this country, and my sweet summer child. We have not even seen the first yet.

Also the US has never had free & fair elections for everyone, and if this is your first time worrying about it, welcome to the party! Fortunately lots of people have been here for decades and know what to do, if you are ready to listen!

Hot girls vote (and don’t have to cancel out their fucking loser partner’s vote!)

It’s telling that the Israel Foreign Ministry is saying Brad Lander, a proud and vocal Jewish person, traveled to a “foreign country.” When Israel wants the moral high ground of saying it speaks for all the Jews, it is all of our homeland. When we ask it to be better, it’s a foreign country to us.

The Texas Republican Party is a wholly-owned subsidiary of two Midland oil businessmen, Tim Dunn and Farris Wilkes. These guys made billions off of the last oil price spike and are Dominionist pastors to boot. They are the money guys for the Texas GOP and everyone is beholden to them.

I have lots of friends asking me, "Lane, how can anyone vote for Ken Paxton? He's awful!" First, you have no idea. Ken Paxton is some sort of vile space worm in a badly-fitting Egger suit. Second, no one is voting FOR Ken Paxton. They're voting for the Republican body.

And/or someone meaningfully impacts cost of living.

the speed at which these guys have broken everything has given a lot of folks who should know better the impression that they are an unstoppable force and the only option is to negotiate the terms of surrender just because the clown car goes very fast does not mean it isn’t full of clowns

More of this from reporters please

this is you, you fucking fools

There's something profoundly sad about so many Boomers spending their last years on earth disassociating from reality and cooking their brains with AI videos. I see this with plenty of people in my own life and I just cannot understand it.

I personally think they should smoke two at a time. Go for it, guys.

I wear tight clothing in Pilates and strength training classes so I can check my form in the mirror in a way that I can’t when I wear baggy clothing. I am not interested in getting injured. I do not and have never dressed for the male gaze. And I certainly would not dress to impress Shane Gillis.

I’m telling yall. Bobby Kennedy style hearings for the next two years from this guy.

Praying the Dems take the Senate for a lot of reasons, chief among them being I NEED Bobby Kennedy-style hearings with Ossoff at the helm for the next two years.

If Democrats win, johnson will not be speaker at the point where they are swearing in the new Congress. They are sworn in by the speaker elect, who is chosen by the member elects

"boo hoo south asians are outhustling me" skill issue bro, life as a white American dude is life on the absolute easiest setting

Y’all my Highland Park born and bred, lifelong R voting FIL just sent us a newsletter written by a wealthy Dallas investor encouraging everyone who reads it to vote Dem in TX because these Rs are insane and incompetent. My FIL wrote someone in the last 3 elections. It *might* Be Happening.

“He has one house” took me OUT 😂😂😂😂😂

I desperately want Talarico to win, but part of me is worried that if Paxton isn’t otherwise engaged, Trump will make him AG. Would be the most monkey paw situation for finally electing a Dem in Texas I can possibly think of 🤷🏻‍♀️

Trump's entire life is Alfred Molina in the first Indiana Jones film saying, "You throw me the idol, I throw you the whip."

Seconded. I’ve had 5-6 of these and each time I laid on the table with tears running into my hair with my hands over my mouth, trying not to scream. I did scream at the first one. It was so much pain I started to panic before being assured it was normal. 🤬

The cervical punch biopsy and colposcopy was easily the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life.

Me every single day until the midterms, loving every second of watching these idiots prove to the country how stupid they are:

every day for the next six weeks we are going to be treated to a bunch of Republicans going “oh god oh god we’re so fucked” and I think we should all take some time to savor it

Risking the world economy and making us even more of a pariah state in a last ditch, self defeating effort to try to blunt the pain at the ballot box and it probably won’t even work. For gas prices or midterm results.

I talked to my normielib, softly spoken, would-never-yell-at-anyone MIL recently, and when we asked how she was, in her gently lilting, quiet voice told us she was “just really ready for Republicans to suffer.”

This is true, but an underfunded campaign is a catastrophe. A hugely overfunded campaign gives you decreasing marginal utility. The extra dollars just don’t make THAT much of a difference.

One of my favorite types of Schadenfreude is when Trump takes a super unpopular position and then forces the rest of the Rs to defend it and go along with it 😂

Gifted

We need at some point to talk about American Evangelicalism as a heretical movement. We should not indulge the delusion of a bunch or nuts who cherry-pick the Bible to rationalize otherwise indefensible 21st century bigotries that they are representatives of a global faith.

*dazed blinking*

This is seismic news for fisheries scientists. Northern cod is *the* iconic symbol of total fisheries collapse due to overfishing (and other factors) *and* the iconic symbol of a complete failure to recover for decades afterwards. This is like announcing the complete recovery of bison on land.

As expected, the suspension of voters in Texas was very carefully crafted to target Democratic voters in major Democratic centers. This is how the Texas GOP controls the state: by insuring that it has the lowest levels of voter participation in the entire developed world.

randomly giving out genuine compliments is such an easy way to make the world a little nicer, i'm always surprised more people haven't figured that out and have a ton of respect for those who have

Jack White is already paying tribute to Dolly Parton with a cover of Jolene in London

As an American, fucking get us Canada.

How much do some TX GOP hate Paxton? Thiiiiis much “Jacob Smith, who served as Cornyn's deputy legislative director and policy adviser, is joining Talarico's campaign as deputy political director,"”

We are going to have to invest in cleaning indoor air for one reason or another. 🤷🏻‍♀️

There is a guy a few blocks over from me who always puts out a “Had enough? Vote Republican” sign every single election season.

Apple cider cake donut. If that’s not available, cinnamon sugar cake donut.

matthew got SUSPENDED. omfg