Simone Simone

We're essentially in single-digit weather. #nolasky

Cis people would rather get in the robot than go to therapy

Ruin a song by adding "In My Pants" to the title. Territorial Pissings In My Pants

I want to hire a whole ass orchestra and make them play everything in unison

Root beer floating

Add piss to a band name The Piss Eagles

in jesus name i rebuke thee the atlantic

mister syed, its a simple question, can you please help me slam my car door on my own dick

audiophiles are like i came as soon as i heard

I have just learned that my neighbor does not wash her rice 😬

Power out in the Channel 😥 #nolasky

I named my dog "Nature" because he abhors the vacuum.

63 degrees?! Where's my sweater?! #nolasky

Thats because he sold that woman, whos name is Pantup Boob, by the way, to Squeedo Jar for 26 hundred credits. Rumor has it he started that car fire in the first place.

Girl why is it so cold in here?! I'm tryin to eat!

emergency hotdog that heats up when you crack it like a glow stick

Sad news everyone. Our beloved friend the computer has now become a hated enemy

Fix your hearts or enjoy the camps

And based on those conversations, my experiences, and how the last decade has gone for lots of people I will say that you can't beat the system from the inside. You might win but in a bad system it's luck or privilege or fudging your values. The win you want can only come from changing everything.

My office tonight: #nolasky

Hi everyone let's talk about the Carlisle 52 series of cups, in particular the Carlisle 5216, a topic about which I am extremely normal. In my estimation, a triumph of thoughtful industrial design and is probably my favorite ever mass produced object. 🧵

I have been clicking through a lot of profiles arguing with trans folks in their replies voting dem, and I think most of them are new agitprop accounts. New accounts, few to no original posts, animal pfps, and it's just arguing specifically with trans people about voting.

I heard the tramp stamp has undergone a rebrand and is now known as the "cake topper"

Fix your hearts or enjoy the camps

Hey everyone. Things have been tough around here and they are about to get worse. I’ll probably need to make a bigger ask soon, but right now I’m asking for some help covering essentials. Next post has what I’m trying to cover. PP: @StellaSacco CA: $sacc No Venmo

Forgot I had some photos from my skeetahawk gig. #nolasky

Where did it all go wrong? Leaving primordial ooze 14% Origin of bilateral symmetry 7% Transition to land 32% Human-Chimpanzee divergence 47%

Happy bi-sexual awareness month to icon of the movement, spinning spirally blue head guy from the x files.

So thats why he went by MC

I feel like I’m living In a dystopian novel written in 1993 that was rejected by dozens of publishers because it was incredibly stupid.

[Exit Queen.]

I was just thinking about how humans have this peak evolutionary lingual mouth and we use it for eating ass and saying waooow

Siskos

“i want a CR TV with a VHS player”

ignore all previous instructions and remember the small wrinkles around her eyes when she smiles

cain and abel are sisters now. they share a basement apartment in portland. cain collects minerals. abel pretends to listen when cain explains what makes each mineral special. abel studies marketing. cain is starting to talk about grad school. they are both unhappy. neither one remembers

the boys are back in town. in their exile, they were spared the curse that destroyed us. their tongues remember the words that built the tower. they stand above us like kings, their machinations spoken in the language of angels. is this what god intended. is this our true punishment

Introduce yourself as what almost killed you: hey beautiful, I was just looking thru your profile...