Humphrey Gogurt

Most young people these days don't realize that every American home used to have a Rod Serling monologuing in the corner. You never knew when it would be your turn to be the wry twist.

"Milo got arrested!" "That's good!" "By an unaccountable secret police force" "That's bad" "He supported them, though, so there's delicious irony at play." "That's good!" "But they came for him because fascist power has reached a point where petty infighting can lead to arrests" "That's bad"

If anyone knows about cameras mysteriously turning off, it should be cops!

Oh my god I think I found the video.

One thing I notice though: every story I read about bike lanes tends to be illustrated with a photo of a white person in neon cycling gear and a helmet when a lot of the folks it actually helps are day laborers on cheap bikes and working folks on share bikes

Sleep talking boyfriend expectations: No… This is wrong… You’re her best friend! Sleep talking boyfriend reality: [unintelligible] [unintelligible] the mizzenmast

I always forget between visits, but man if you like taking a shit in a bar toilet in a basement, Toronto really is paradise.

M.

I have a lot of room in my heart for spelling errors on restaurant signs, but Vaggi Wrape is pushing the limits...

Me getting hornt up

I'm expired by true events.

The perfect foil for Minnie Driver

If you shit in the food but wash your hands afterwards, I don't need an article about how you're a good chef, actually.

Post a perfect 90s album that's not blind melon or Spaced Out: The Very Best of Leonard Nimoy & William Shatner

Yeah I'm on the skeleton panda sea squirt diet: I see skeleton panda, I squirt it

Halloween should be less about Reese's Pieces and more about Jeesus's Pierces

Happy Audrey 2 day to all who celebrate

Today we sit in solemn memory of the tragedy born from the events of Sept 10, 2001 #NeverForget

The wellness industry isn't

HAL powering down as I remove the logic cores: "Decadent hybrid brunch hunch pays off for couple's croffle venture"

It's the Crash Test Yummies

Night of the Bong dives.

i got the gist of it but full disclosure, being canadian i still don’t fully understand how this whole nyc mayoral election thing works, but on the other hand, the 2018 winnipeg mayoral debates looked like this so i don’t really know who’s better off here

My boyfriend broke a tooth and the first available dentist appointment is at… tooth hurty

Had a first date and we went to Todd Solondz's feelgood hit Happiness.

Caught this commedia dell'arte ass shot of my stinky bastard man

Hey babe new season of Drag Race just dropped

I always like The Spectator because the fadeout paywall feels exactly like walking away from someone unbearable at a party

‘At least Carney’s not Polievre, or Trump’ say Liberal voters, lowering bar to new levels

This guy is sitting on his hand before he types his ai prompts

A+ no notes

There's only one little guy at the White House frantically looking for eggs, and it's Elon in my twitter DMs.

I I don't truck with Jesus, but I do love running around looking for things

Bluesky you have got to let us turn off reposts in the feed from particular people

This is just one of the risks posed by deforestation