Squirrelly Jane Joseph

Face soft, body doughy

I've got a list of favorite typos i've had at work. Here they are in no particular order: - redshit - resluts - dickdb - datadong - screenshit

Mental illness is so fun because sometimes you can't fall asleep because you can't stop thinking of your dead mom and other times its because you think it'd be funny if someone followed trump around with a sign thats says "SHOW US UR TIDDIES"

I'd like to do away with the concept of "sleeping wrong". What do you mean I "slept wrong" and have been sore for 2 days??

I shared this opinion at my first "big kid" job and guy stepped up on me with his finger pointed in my face and yelled "SOCIALIST!" In that way, their office _was_ like a family. My family 🫠

I love being married for many many reasons but one of them is that whenever I see someone talking about dating right now I want to die. I'm not built for that. I'm an indoor wife now

This was my first time! I found a Rarity-66 word worth 88 pts in OUTLIER. EAGLE EYES · 816 points · 10 rare words. Only 30 players have ever found it in all of Outlier. 1 find no one else found today. OUTLIER: the daily word hunt where the rarest words win. Can you beat me? playoutlier.com/s/DCZ9WC

Why do we say "number 2" when "part doo" is right there

dear white people cops aren't even supposed to be shooting guilty people that is all

Said "grand scream of things" accidentally in the meeting and ya know what, I was right

Bobby Switch

Wife: It won't go in. Me: Yes it will. Wife: Its too big! Me: No, it's not. Just go slow. My wife and I playing Tears of the Kingdom

one anecdote: I was searching for a link to one of my old papers on Google, and the automated Gemini summary attributed all of my lab's work to my husband

I know its futile, but I will NEVER stop blocking amd reporting as spam.

You know, the barrage of robo texts you get after donating to a local candidate really disincentivizes the whole thing

sure food is great but you know what absolutely fuckin rocks? beverages. I love you seltzer I love you tea I love you coffee I love you beer I love you ice water I love you orange juice sometimes I love to drink things I'm so glad there are beverages

I cannot express how flattered I am when I am hit on by a black woman

The first rule about baby fight club is that you can't talk about baby fight club* *due to being pre-verbal

I appreciate bats so much I got a tattoo of one!

I know credit scores are a scam but its pretty annoying to see my score go down 5 points and when I look at what has changed its the utilization going from "good" to "excellent" and a balance decrease on one of the accounts. You'd think both of those things would help your credit score 🤨

A lot of people on my team are reading the Dungeon Crawler Carl books and its just W I L D to know that my manager has read the word 'nussy'

I need men who deliver food to chill on the cologne

The next season of Storage Wars is about to get wild y'all

I read 127 books in 2025. Hyperfocus looks different when you're avoiding social media

Some guy on the bus just said "I used to know Robin Williams in the 90's. He had so many bicycles and he wouldn't give me ONE."

☕️📖 Nothing like spending a cozy morning curled up under a blanket with a cup of tea and a book on my lap to keep me company while I endlessly scroll my phone

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch an ounce of ganja Jack lit up and took a puff And Jill cuffed him. She was DEA. Jack died in prison.

These donation texts are really something 🤣

"christmas is in 5 days" don't say that. why say that? that's the fakest shit i ever heard

Episode 5 of 'Heated Rivalry', in my house, turned us viewers into what can only be described as 'three screeching queeers'

yea i got havana syndrome. havana fat ass

Remember folks: if you have any small amount of artistic talent, any sex appeal, or can make your friends laugh, the richest man on earth is crying screaming throwing up because he can’t be you.

I can't even be annoyed that the qr code for my tv to sign into dropout doesn't work when the error page features Shit the clown. @dropout.tv well done

Nothing like a menty-b in the shower to really get your day going

I ache, therefore I am.

pride month astronomy fact: the sun is a non-binary star

It’s ok to disagree on climate change, water over the bridge.