Simon

The Plumpers do love their grass. #guineapig

Latest faux ad collage for the excellent @thenewworldmag.bsky.social out now!

RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open, period

Oh my. Casper owns the pellet bowl #guineapig

Fire extinguisher for Mr. Farage’s Y-fronts please

Attention #twitch users

In Clacton right now. (Real, not AI!) #VoteBinface

There now follows a party election broadcast by the Count Binface Party, And if I do say so myself, it's a banger. #VoteBinface #Clacton

Hedgehogs: we got ‘em. Still some babies to come too. #hedgehog

Here it is. My manifesto for the 2026 Clacton By-Election. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Join me, clean up Clacton and let's make 13th August Bin Day! #VoteBinface #VoteyMcVoteface #YesWeTinCan

Binface for the win

Swamp thing

Happy 10 years of Brexit 💃💃💃

Exactly 10 years since the Brexit vote, the verdict is in.

Sometimes, rules and good manners just have to be broken.

Storks over our garden today: the parents taking the children out for an afternoon glide. There is nothing like it. #storks #whitestork

Casper and Stanley taking a break from their bickering. #guineapig

Something of a standoff between the hedgehogs hogs last night. There is a fourth lurking in the undergrowth. The pregnant female sensibly passed by earlier! #hedgehogs

Considering the amount of activity around here I have a strong suspicion this may be a pregnant hedgehog. Moving slowly and quite erm, rotund in the lower quarters. Anybody have an idea? #hedgehog #pregnant

Four hedgehogs together last night - watch carefully as the fourth emerges from the undergrowth. I wonder how many young we’ll get this year? #hedgehogs

It's another scorcher.. 🥵☀️ Be sure to put out plenty of water for birds & wildlife in your garden so they can keep cool and have enough to drink. Got your patch covered? Share this reminder!

Stanley never looks happier than when out and and about looking for trouble. #guineapig

Forty years old today. #petergabriel #so

Casper looking like lord of all he surveys #guineapig

Yesterday this tweet appeared on my X account, which has been hacked. I no longer have access to it, so I can’t delete it. Anyone who clicks on the link may lose their X account for ever, as I have. If you’re on X, please post a tweet advising all F1 twitterati to unfollow & avoid my X account. 😔

Make it so

Brilliant

When you peel a banana at the OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM. These two have an incredible Banana-dar! #guineapigs

Oh my, this is a first for these two. #guineapigs #guineapig

Quite a lot of nightly hedgehog activity now: here’s three together yesterday evening. And that’s not all of them - at least one more has been circulating. #hedgehog #wildlife

The faces… Turning the looks up to 11 in the hope of more banana #guineapig

The Plumpers have worked out that they don’t have to try and eat from the same end of the hay filled cardboard… #guineapigs

Cork self destructed when opening a bottle of wine? Today, I’m experimenting with a French press - quite effective so far. What it will taste like is another matter. At least it will be well aerated…

Having three hedgehogs visit last night has hastened me to relocate one of the houses - they are currently too close to each other. This is the base structure taking shape. It’s slow going as the location is not so conducive to humping heavy slabs about… #hedgehog

Three (!) hedgehogs visited our garden last night, including one born here in 2022. He has an eye missing and it’s always special to see him back. #hedgehogs

Watch this. Now.

Banana? Who peeled a banana? BANANAAAAAA #guineapigs #banana

And then there were two! This could be a long courtship or some early babies. Looks like hedgehog corner will be busy this year. #hedgehog #spring

First visit this year of a stork to the telegraph pole in our garden. I dream of one building a nest there but previous attempts have been nixed by the male from the next village kicking interlopers off. (He uses it in the summer when his own nest gets crowded with babies) #stork #cigogne

These two love a timetable. Every morning about the same time they gather in front of the pellet bowl in anticipation of their faithful servant finishing his breakfast. #guineapig

A vision of plumpness #guineapig

Washington Behind Closed Doors (the 1977 mini series) was always a thinly disguised retelling of #watergate but watching in the present climate it is remarkably prescient. Either that or not much new under the sun…

A 31 year old McLaren Vale Shiraz from Chateau Reynella - perhaps past its best? - but rather lovely #shiraz #reynella #mclarenvale #wine

Looks like it’s time to stock up on hedgehog food. #hedgehog

Is it true that Amazon will give you a reduction if you add Melania tickets to your order? I think we should be told.

The boys looking a little like rock stars. Plump Floyd, perhaps. (They are, in the words of their greatest fan, satisfyingly plump) #guineapigs #plump

Some light rumblestrutting and celebratory popcorns from Stanley. Casper is suitably nonplussed #guineapigs #rumblestrutting #popcorning