stardaddy.bsky.social

Picking up recycling at a school, I opened a bin to pull a bag of paper and saw a worksheet on top titled, "How Did the Constitution Prevent Tyranny?" [Close up of my face lit from beneath by the golden light from Pulp Fiction. Sound of pen clicking below frame.]

Billionaires just pay your taxes challenge

I'm late to the conversation, but just want to share my suspicion that the people who liked Shane Gillis' monologue are the same comedy experts who were always calling SNL hack even while it was being written by John Mulaney, Anna Drezen, Tim Robinson, Zach Kanin, Katie Rich, etc.

Is Twitter ok? I haven't received a confirmation code from anyone trying to steal my old account in almost an hour.

I did one training shift at Waffle House to get the shirt for a Halloween costume.

@sorenbowie.bsky.social @danielobrien.bsky.social re: a recent qq episode, I think about Yeats' A Cradle Song whenever I look at pictures of my son as a little guy. allpoetry.com/poem/8453607...

I double-checked this on a couple of Xitter stat sites and it's true. Average views of the main AfD account dropped 90% and average engagement dropped by 60%. This is commercial social media for you: bots, damn bots and Russian bots.

The people who make Insidious movies seem really proud of their lore, and I feel like they shouldn't be.

"You Never Even Called Me By My Name" is just "Let's Do The Time Warp Again" out of drag.

LMFAO -- Trump is holding an event at the White House right now but there's no audio because the press pool isn't there. The Newsmax host notes that this is an example of Trump's attacks on the press "backfiring just a little bit"

Our in-house models suggest that, if Jeeves continues improving at the current pace; half the species could die of poorly regulated lettuce by 2040.

A world where a twist ending is repurposed as a video title. where a thing's climax has been removed, leaving an advertisment for the gap where it used to be. such things are commonplace in. the twilight zone

There are people who will call you an antisemite for condemning genocide. Those same people can't decide whether a pile of massacred children is good or bad until they're told what ethnicity the corpses are.

I had this idea from reading the elizabeth holmes mouse post and then I couldn't do anything else until i painted the idea to completion

a lot of people act like there's a trade being offered where we give up trans athletes in sports and in exchange fascism is defeated forever

I may not be a Silicon Valley billionaire per se, but I did once make a random encounter table for D&D that generated so many goblins so quickly that I got scared. Fortunately, I was able to stop rolling the dice in time.

Whenever inhumane prison conditions try to get up in my face and talk shit, I just say what color is your bugatti? Hey 10-15 roaches, what color is your bugatti?

[Sits on backwards chair and takes off shades] Lemme hip you kids to another dead senator hooked to a machine who mysteriously returned to continue terrorizing the people in a movie that absolutely sucked dick...

To me, it never really feels like 9/11 until I see the hamburglar salute a fireman.

I just want someone to love me the way conservatives love the conditions that produce all the shit they hate.

Me, wanting a neck massage: "Hey comrade... can I borrow some of your self-care?"

Florida figured it out? FLORIDA!?

Who would've guessed that the most realistic late season character from The Boys was Firecracker

The late, great David Berman, after demanding a poetry-off with a reviewer that went after some other Open City writers:

youtu.be/o6n3WgLDyMw?...

A perfect conceit for the 20s: the world's biggest bookstore has become a destroyer of books

Hilarious police account of a completely peaceful protest I was at some years ago.

My advice to anyone starting a pop culture (films, games, lit, whatever) podcast that wants to stand apart from the pack: Like the thing you talk about. Talk about what you like in it. Criticism is good and valid, but people type "X-Men" into the podcast search bar because they love X-Men.

*listens to some grainy recording of a gospel singer from the 20s w/ no accompaniment* Me: "man, ngl this junt slaps fr fr"

Ordered mine. Can't wait to rip off Adrian Daub observations from a fresh source.

Little known Bible fact: The earliest preserved greek manuscripts of the Gospel of Luke include instructions to the reader after each mention of the Holy Ghost, to grab the nearest person and yell "Boo!"

Superman could whoop Holden Caulfield, Beneatha Younger, and Edmond Dantes all at once, with plenty of time left to find the white whale before Ahab. He could shoot the ghost of Hamlet's dad with heat vision. He could put Tom Robinson in jail on the moon.

Alien 1: "Shall we announce our arrival to the humans?" Alien 2: "Wait, wait... *stifling laugh* Let's only tell some of them."

Normalize gas stations not being out of hot Cheetoh puffs.