TheGrimRecapper

And now, a thread in which I track my progress to actually read more books. The last novel I read all the way through was The Da Vinci Code back when that was a thing, so take all my opinions with a fucking Dead Sea of salt, etc

Had to book annual leave for late Nov/early Dec because work won't let us take school holidays off. Finally picked somewhere to go and... a good hotel I got for $600 in Nov 24 is up to $1400 for the same length of time, and it's still among the cheaper options in that city. Fuck.

I have baffled The Algorithms enough that YouTube is now suggesting I watch the Ally McBeal cast dancing to Barry White. I have never watched Ally McBeal, a show that might legitimately be the biggest "and now it's over, nobody will ever mention it again" TV show that side of Game of Thrones?

No. No more little treats. Big treats for Earth.

Wow, Brazil and Serbia turfing asshole politicians in one day? Incredible.

It's Monday and I have to work. This is cruel and unusual punishment.

Australian: "We call it chicken salt, but it kind of goes on everything." American: "Like everything bagel seasoning?" Australian: "Does it go on everything?" American: "Oh heavens no. It barely goes on bagels. It's the Dr Pepper of condiments."

Boss making small talk: "Have you done any Christmas shopping yet?" Me: "I work at one of the only places where I can legitimately buy these for people. I'm covered."

Glee's being revived? WHY? Didn't enough of the cast die the first time around?

What idiot called it a dick pic and not junk mail?

This Halloween, ask yourself the important questions raised by the holiday, such as: Do trans zombies have deadnames or undeadnames?

This would be the first recorded instance of boomers being quiet, if true.

Movie --> Porn Parody The Muppet Fistmas Carol

More people should take an "are you playing dumb, or is it not an act?" approach when responding to bad-faith questions. Just saying.

Movie --> Porn Parody The Hunt for Red Locktober

For my neurotypical folks, you should know "open invitations" are fucking kryptonite to many autistics. "You can come over whenever" -- I sleep when most people are awake. Is 2AM okay? How long is appropriate to stay? Should I bring anything? Why the fuck would you do this to me? Do you hate me?

Make a celebrity sick: Covid Duchovny

Make a celebrity sick Matt Le Jaundice

Meanwhile, in "stupid sexy Flanders" news:

Make a celebrity sick Sanguinta Brunson

Are you ready to feel like time means nothing? You sure? I did warn you. Okay then. Zac Efron is four years older than Zohran Mamdani.

Ah yes, the three types of old people: "Probably-straight woman who would be a butch lesbian if she was 20 years younger", "old lady who swears her grandkids think she's super funky with her hep six-seven dance steps", and "Asian holding a chess piece, because how else would you know he's Asian?".

Annual leave approved. FUCK YES.

Well, that's because Ilya is a top.

If ever you're having a bad day, remember: someone had to discover the Mentos and Diet Coke thing, and they probably did it by eating them both at the same time.

I can't explain it but this gingerbread man from my local bakery is serving cunt.

Hi, I’m a sighted alt text user! Here are some reasons I use it: - Slow Internet on an airplane - I’m over 40, I have no idea who that celebrity is - Bluesky broke images again - My vision sucks and that text is too small to read otherwise - Conveys further context and authorial intent

It's twelve weeks today since the BBC cynically trotted out a remake of that "what have they ever done for me?" promo from the 80s.

Look, I don't want to tell a mega corporation how to do its job but whoever decided to (1) do this and (2) use the word "new" to promote a Coke product again after the last time it happened deserves to be yeeted back to the 80s via a kick to the nards.

Mood for when you're watching an old TV show for the first time and a character mentions it's 2020 so now you're going to spend the remainder of the show wondering how they're going to Work It Into The Story.

Work: "You have far too much leave. You need to take some time off." Me: "Okay, I'll take some time in November." Work: "Oh no, it's too late for that, rosters are already done." Me: "December then." Work: "We're short staffed." Me: "January." Work: "BUT THAT'S PEAK SEASON YOU CAN'T." FML.

"I'd do it again, Camilla."

Found out today my two office crushes are both leaving at the end of the week. This is cruel and unusual homophobic punishment.

Ceiling fan scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Personally, I think the reality show probably should have smooshed some of its contestants into a big fan, but that's neither here nor there.

@graham.loadingreadyrun.com Heads up: Brisbane 2032 logos have been released.

Earthquake? Earthquake.

We gotta get our fuckin shit together or Olivia Newton John will not let us into Xanadu

Look, I don't have an opinion on iced coffee at job interviews, but after two weeks working for people who complained about that sort of thing I'd probably buy one just so I can replace it for an emotional support shiv.

You're supposed to make the baby batter before you put it in the oven.

Chicken needed help. www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/3610...

TIL the Taskmaster Iceland trophy looks like they bought the bad Cristiano Ronaldo statue off of Temu. You're welcome, sleep paralysis demons.

Pretty Woman's European Vacation

I don't get why "vanilla" is the opposite of "spicy". Vanilla IS a spice.

PUDDING ON MY PUNKS.

House fire two blocks away (small! under control! no wind!) We're uphill from whatever's burning so all the smoke smell is reaching our house and mum is freaking out trying to decide if we need to evacuate. FML.

when ai leaves u behind

IT dude came in today (nice of him to show up to work for once) and asked how the new system was going. Genuinely don't think he was expecting as bad a reaction as he got when his big solution to "we can't look up anything that doesn't scan" was "just type in the barcode manually?". Fucking idiot.

AI is bad and if you're willfully using it you're being a bad person 🤷‍♂️

We have all these different sexualities nowadays and yet not a single one that amounts to "very much not asexual, just can't be fucking bothered".