Washington Post Pitchbot

There never was a non-horrible plausible explanation for the Trump birthday card to Epstein.

We should blame Donald Trump for Kimberly Guilfoyle's inability to grift properly as well her failure to give him his cut as he expected she would. 𝘣𝘺 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘏𝘢𝘫𝘫𝘢𝘳 www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

YOU ARE WITH US OR YOU ARE WITH THE TERRORISTS! And you can't be one of us if you want children to have lunch or everyone to have healthcare. Oh: SCARY SCARY MUSLIMS! 𝘣𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤 𝘈. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯 www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

both sides! Democrats bad! Scary Muslim! PIKER PIKER PIKER! 𝘣𝘺 𝘑𝘰𝘴𝘩 𝘒𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘢𝘳 www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Man who won’t give his employees piss breaks claims many piss breaks on the horizon

Q: Mr Sununu, would you have voted for a war powers resolution in the Senate? JOHN SUNUNU:🚶🚶🚶 Q: Would you admit that Trump’s war was a bad decision, or are you just going to do everything that Trump tells you to do? JOHN SUNUNU:🚶🚶🚶

they were wishcasting. they thought "well, it's not exactly great that Trump won, but at least he is going to take the wokes down a peg or three. we are frankly eager for him to curb stomp MeToo, BLM, Gaza protestors, every union organizer, etc"

My Spanish is not good, nor was his English, so couldn’t really understand what was happening beyond the basics. I gave him all the cash I had on me, saying (I hope) “for a lawyer and your family.” And told him how sorry I was.

UN to Trump:

I'm OK with using any amount of pain to extract information from suspects, as long as we don't 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 it torture. 𝘣𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯 (shorter concept perfected by Elton Beard) www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Between my board positions, consulting, and $305 grand a year from Hoover I've landed on my feet, while you got 9/11, Iraq and Afghanistan, Trump, and a permanent surveillance state! All I had to do was ignore a PDB on August 6, 2001. Ain't America great?!? www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Democrats must cease their accurate and pointed critiques of Mr. Trump's tax policies if they want people like me to vote for them. 𝘣𝘺 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘖𝘯𝘸𝘶𝘬𝘢 www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Voters will 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 to the party that promises more war and higher taxes! 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘉𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘥 hat tip: Elton Beard www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Canadians are like the nice people who live over a biker bar. -- Robin Williams

Fuck every single person who, through action or inaction, allowed this stupid, stupid reality to come to pass.

Here's a post I did on Marc Caputo's story describing Natalie Harp's role (in campaign) in 2024. He described: 1) She was responsible for a Nazi tweet posted in Trump's name 2) She was serving as a gatekeeper to Trump 3) Susie Wiles didn't even try to control her emptywheel.net/2024/05/23/n...

Pass It On.

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner notified the FBI of Jeffrey Epstein and reported that a Playmate was sexually abused and trafficked by the late financier, according to new court documents reported this week.

Ben & Jerry’s videos. Always resistance by the pint❤️‍🔥 Love this!

As it was with New York City, the state of Wisconsin will be emptied of millionaires and billionaires should they elect the latest Democratic candidate we have selected for today's Two Minutes Hate. www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

I’m absolutely shocked that the little hack from the Dispatch, the failing Jonah Goldberg site, who came into the WP OpEd section to bring “personal liberties and freedom” as a connective tissue to the section is now crashing out after less than a year. www.nytimes.com/2026/07/31/b...

America First.

It’s nice that they changed its shirt.

Marco Rubio is against birthright citizenship. But Marco Rubio *is* a birthright citizen. Ted Cruz is against birthright citizenship. But Ted Cruz was born in Canada. He only got US citizenship by a birthright citizenship law because of his US mother. They are both shameless hypocrites.

people got mad at me yesterday when i said the dems were not ready to take court reform seriously. 5-4 for non-racial citizenship is not a win, it's a reprieve bsky.app/profile/schu...

This should be in the Guinness Book of World Records. #ETTD

The Kennedy Center board has filed an emergency motion to stay at the DC Circuit and it is bonkity-bonkers. For the first time, they say they amended the bylaws to strip all funding from the center if it removes Trump's name. No Trump KC, no money. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

You and I both know Iran will never get a nuclear weapon, but in an attempt to give Trump a decent legacy let's agree to pretend they might. 𝘣𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯 www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Seems suddenly noteworthy again ...

People forgot what the economy was like after Covid.

Happy May Day. They can’t kill us all.

AIG, Lehman ... they can all rise again and bet on mortgages, car loans, student loans ... this will make W seem like an amateur!

When you've fucked up in plain sight, the honorable and dignified thing to do is admit nothing, contrive a plausible rationale for reversing course, and rely on friendly journalists such as myself to cover for you. 𝘣𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯 hat tip: Elton Beard www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

When you've fucked up in plain sight, the honorable and dignified thing to do is admit nothing, contrive a plausible rationale for reversing course, and rely on friendly journalists such as myself to cover for you. 𝘣𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯 hat tip: Elton Beard www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

bsky.app/profile/stev...

It's rather counter-productive to spread freedom and democracy by corrupting the press and subverting elections 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘉𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘥 www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Allowing for George W. Bush, what I really want is a president who prefers war to diplomacy, like Mr. Trump, except competent. 𝘣𝘺 𝘋𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘥 𝘐𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘶𝘴 hat tip: Elton Beard www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Allowing for George W. Bush, what I really want is a president who prefers war to diplomacy, like Mr. Trump, except competent. 𝘣𝘺 𝘋𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘥 𝘐𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘶𝘴 hat tip: Elton Beard www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Being an opinion-writing conservative hawk means never hesitating to spread one's true faith by the sword. 𝘣𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯 www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

@eschatonblog.com citing Tom Friedman ...

My destiny is to clean up after the Bush and Trump families, so here is a climate narrative drastically at odds with conventional reality in order to deflect, even if only a little, from the Epstein mess my family helped create. 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘮𝘯 𝘣𝘺⁣ 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮 𝘗. 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘳 www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

at least a concept of a plan ...

You cannot blame professional journalists for not questioning the Trump administration's competence at warmaking, since the issue was never raised by anyone we pay attention to. 𝘣𝘺 𝘎𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 [hat tip: Elton Beard] www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...