Wit Memo

Witzelsucht (vit'sel-zookt) [Ger.] a mental condition characteristic of frontal lobe lesions and marked by the making of poor jokes and puns and the telling of pointless stories, at which the patient himself is intensely amused. --Dorland's Medical Dictionary. www.witmemo.com

"Trump administration illegally..." The headline template for any piece about the White House in court!

What's Brazilian for "stollen"? 😆😁🤪

MAGA must stay in charge 'cause Bill Maher needs trans people for punchlines and read somewhere that Mayor Mamdani's a commie.

"DOJ Politicos Bring Phony, Trumped-Up Charges Against FBI Agents Fired For Finding No Evidence To Support Biden Corruption Hoax" -Fixed it for ya, CNN!

MOUNT FLUSHMORE (not original, sorry!)

If Dems take back power, first thing they're gonna do is give Trump, Musk and the rest of the complicit enablers a stern finger-wag and a very severe tut-tut-tut! They'll be tut-tutted like no one's ever been tut-tutted before and they'll pinky promise to never do that again!😆

He's way ahead of you. The President has ordered New York renamed simply York, while York, England is now Old York.

If he tries to change New Mexico's name, then when we take power, we're gonna pass a law requiring that the name Jesus may ONLY be pronounced "Hey-soos"!

The jokes write themselves with this crowd!

Flying car our butt, and it's 50 years behind the times!

"Choosing Texas" is insipid pap, as much popular music in whatever genre is and has always been.

DHS hoping to find a diary Rep. Omar kept at age 12 in which they hope she wrote, "Today was a good day! My family illegally snuck into the US from Mexico with a caravan of terrorists, human traffickers, and drug smugglers!" And when they don't find that diary, they'll plant one!

The Law Firm of Shyster, Flywheel and Harris

MAGA must keep running things because Bill Maher needs trans people for punchlines and read somewhere that Mamdani's a commie and possibly woke.

The blotch on the back of his right hand? It's the blood of Ashli Babbitt, turned purple from repeated failed attempts to wash away the stain of complicity!

It's just one popcorn kernel. Does everything that used to require a full bucket!

When Trump said in the debate that they're "eating the cats of the people that live there"? That's the closest he's EVER come to eating pussy!

Oh Wow.

Lucky Jim Jordan

"NOBEL VOTE RIGGED!" -MAGA "Nobel Vote: Teach The Controversy" -Bezos Post Editorial Board

the more Musk spends on the midterm elections, the more ubiquitous this image needs to be

When asked if this action could be seen as racist, Secretary Hegseth replied, "what's wrong with being a little racy?"

Month from now: "Eight months free salary for all military who retire in the next 30 days!" Year from now: "Desperately Seeking Skills: How DOGE's Purging Ranks, Cutting 'Woke' Divisions ('Transport') Left America's Military Unable to Carry Out Core Functions" (WSJ)

Well it wasn't like it was a long journey!

Department of War responded, "Griping is a hallowed soldiers' pastime, as WWII cartoonist Bill Mauldin documented with his lovable GI's, Willie and Joe. It means nothing."

Just when we thought all the good nicknames had already been thought of!

"American farmers' crops can use the extra hour of sunlight year round!" -President calling for permanent Daylight Savings Time

Even Trump's own FI -Fake Intelligence- might sometimes report the truth if the question is worded carefully!

The GOP is infected with SDS -Socialism Derangement Syndrome- and now it's spreading to "centrist" Dems! Stop SDS with a dose of the Common Sense vax -MAGAts won't get that vax 'cause "common sense" sounds too much like "communism."

Was it too trans for transit?

Law according to Johnny Cash says Christa Pike must be set free: They tried to hang me in Oakland And they did in Francisco. I wouldn't choke, I broke the rope And they had to let me go. -"Bad News"

Elon's hacked health records confirm: Elon is Low T.

So he's gonna fuck up the army next?

AWKWAAAAAAARRD!!!

When you've lost the MAGA-wannabe commenters at the Daily Mail...

A life highlight was seeing one of George Jones' yearly shows at the WWWV Music Hall in Wheeling, WVa in the late 90s, but guess we must not like Country since we haven't heard this one song on XM Outlaw Country yet?

White, drunk aggressive Reggae artist: Mob Barley

Lock up Mike Waltz in Fulsome Prison, and throw away the warden.

"Them's not midgets, them's Texans with the bullshit let out!" -Belle Barth, "If I Embarrass You, Tell Your Friends," After Hours records, 1960