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Even aside from Rowling being an insane monster, Jesus fuck I am sick of hearing about Harry Potter

Why couldn't it have been Redwall???

Or not, who cares

Point is, I'm tired of the little shit and I wish he'd been taken out by a nut allergy

Redwall should have been one hero for 7 books. Too many mc changes imo

Ehhhh … Redwall when I was a kid always struck me as weirdly … racist-ey? I remember all the weasels, rats, etc. were bad by nature, as a group. I read a bunch of them, but eventually got uncomfortable with the pattern.

(Why couldn’t it have been The Dark is Rising, or Dianna Wynne Jones, or Diane Duane, though, and I’m on board.)

Isn't Redwall kinda heavily tied with Christianity?

The central location is an abbey but as far as I could tell, no actual religion happened there. Just a bunch of woodland animals wearing uniform robes and living communally.

The first Harry Potter book came out in 1997 - the same year as FACE/OFF. Why aren't the children watching FACE/OFF instead?

I was 10 when that came out, and the kids in my neighborhood were a hell of a lot more likely to be caught playing Face/Off than Quidditch or Let's Bully The Orphan.

I will say this; JK Rowling was the reason I started writing stories at the age of 12 years old (almost three decades ago.) Because I thought her writing was so abysmal, bigoted, and brain-damaging that I personally believed I can do much better. And I was right, as I usually am.