Post

Screw it, I know what you people want. 1 like = 1 absolute for sure historical factual fact about @tkingfisher.com.

Ain't no secret that Ursula Vernon done brought the corpse flower up from Hell for us to grow. Nobody's 'zactly sure why, though.

Ursula Vernon speaks sixty three frog languages, which is mighty impressive since there ain't but four.

Once a man spat on Ursula Vernon's dog and she knotted him up like a pretzel. He got sold at the state fair and was mighty delicious.

Don't tell nobody I told you this, but Ursula Vernon's hat contains a black hole inside'a which is a whole other garden 'cause she always gotta have one handy. Mostly she grows hair in it. Fine silky locks that only gets a lil bent comin' out the gravity well.

Bullets won't fire in Ursula Vernon's presence. They jes won't. No tellin' how many crimes she's stopped.

Ursula tamed an aardvark once, and an aardwolf, and basically everything what got 'aa' in it.

Ursula Vernon gave me explicit permission to do this challenge.

Samus Aran is actually Ursula. She ain't just a folk hero on Earth.

This one time Ursula Vernon blew her nose and the force of it blew a hole right in the earth's crust, trapped the booger, and they calls it Petroleum now.

Ursula has all the powers of a clam, including the ability to secrete a perfect statue of herself in mother-of-pearl. Including her hat!

Ursula ended the secondest world war by sayin' "Bless your heart," which is but one of many wars she done started and/or stopped.

When Ursula moved ta Newest Mexico, as it was known then, her one eyed demon cat couldn't cross runnin' water. She had ta lift the Missississippi River so her wagon train could pass underneath. Some cities say she put it back wrong, but if'n Ursula did it they'll find out she was right one day.

Ursula was the first human ta colonize Mars, but the other colonists weren't ruff'n'tuff enough and hardly could hoot'n'holler at all so they all went back to Earth.

Ursula Vernon doesn't dream. It's kinda sad, really. A folk hero's work is never done and when she goes to dream land all the other folks' dreams come crowdin' around her beggin' for autographs and advice bein' scary and she gotta build infreestrukchers and what like.

Ursula Vernon sneezes so good she blows the top offa mountains, which is what alla history's big volcanoes actually was.

Just speaking to Ursula Vernon will turn a kobold into a dragon. Whole lotta folk, in fact. It can be a bit of a problem at conventions. If you see her at one, bring yer EXTRA EXTRA large pants.