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well said.

why is it that chuds have to go back fucking years and try to argue the established truth over and over again? oh wait nvm I get it.

You can tell the headline hit a nerve bc "centrist journalists" are complaining about it

Hmm hmm fuck Ben Ryan

Which "important truths", Ben? Oh, you know the ones~

i mean this and i mean it literally and spiritually bsky.app/profile/oldb...

Only because "no way to prevent..." has been played out for so long.

Ben Ryan doesn’t even know what truth is. He lies about trans people constantly. I’d say one day he will regret the evil he has done but I don’t think he has the self-awareness for that.

Most of these reporters see themselves as open-minded liberals who would NEVER harm another person, and they hate that this joke directly counters the lie they tell themselves about how generous and open-minded they are, and that they're actually just like all the cruel bigots before.

That's all they know.

Pretty straight line from 80s Satanic Panic to Qanon to MAGA/Project 2025. www.psqonline.org/article.cfm?...

The fact that it is assault and battery to give Ben Ryan a swirly is directly, literally, the but-for cause of why our democracy is dying.

Does these blockheads really, truly think that their hamfisted cruelty is ever going to be looked on favorably? There is no “See we were right all along” coming. And even if there was your dingbat alchemy would find a way to turn good will into poison. What’s broken in you will stay broken.

Finding out Ryan also backs the right-wing conspiracy theory that Matthew Shepard was really murdered because he was a secret drug kingpin was probably the least surprising thing I ever learned about anyone.

i can only hope this is projection and he's really sweating about what his ephemeral career looks like when the moral panic ends and dipshits like him have repeatedly outed themselves as opportunistic yellow journalists. Like, kiss your guaranteed bylines goodbye, doofus

Yeah. Cuckolding is essentially a sexualized version of modern conservative ideology. They want to be the bull.

I mean anyone trying to flirt in NYC is basically doing harassment but still

I'm a cis person and I'm just as disgusted.

It’s definitely not just you

that Ben Ryan is a creep!

Jess Singal still gets very mad if you say he’s a creepy chaser.

Can I work at the onion? I need employment and my satire is *chef’s kiss…of salmonella*

I'll chime in to add that "eagerly and sadly", as it's used here, is just some real D- writing.

As a trans person that doesn't work for the onion I agree

I also thought "onion person" was some just like regular onion-based joke

*Holds hand up* Cis guy who does not work at "The Onion". This headline is up there with the "No Way to Prevent This" headline in iconic, and sadly on point headlines. And Singal is a scumbag and it's a tragedy he's still working as a "journalist".

upsetting but not surprising, like a reverse jumpscare

why cant she just go away holy shit

Why does she look like kristi noem?

I can not tell whether the guy in this photo and the guy in his profile pic are the same person.

wasn't that just like 3 weeks ago

Did she apologize or did she forgive us?

wait, that was supposed to be an apology?

This is the photo that crashes into high contrast grayscale as the Dateline special reveals the killer.

New York’s hottest holiday party has everything

why does she look like one of those fnaf endoskeletons with mannequin flesh draped over it?

The most horrific "we saw you from across the bar" vibes ever

Isn’t she married? And was Jesse busy

Suspiciously convenient, if you ask me

> a reputable journalist at theonion.com is this a joke or for real? we may never know

Yeah, the BBC *just* fired a science presenter who supports trans rights outside of his job, adding to your point, onion person. It’s totally dishonest. I’ll add my voice to the cis people agreeing with you.

The timing of this article was also a big part of the joke, given the immediate dog piling of that poor girl that had 0 involvement with the Kirk assassination. I love (and hate) that its gotten so much milage past that lol Keep up the good work 🫡

If there is one thing bigots universally hate more than anything, it's having the consequences of their beliefs articulated. They love to hide behind pedantic technicalities about how they aren't being bigoted, they're doing some other thing and that just crumbles when you point out the results.

They need the abstraction because they cant handle looking at their actual actions. Removing their veil of big brained intellectualism hurts them.

I'm just waiting for the day we all get sick of transphobes and start holding their religions and traditions to the same scrutiny they do for people's gender expression.

"one day they are all gonna regret this! they will see!" -the entirely hinged individual

Good to note the "all" as well. I kinda hate sayin it because even if it wasn't true the battle to defend trans people has to be fought as a basic moral calling on its own but conservatives are also open that they want this to end with all queer people back in the closet and invisible in public life

Bad Onion that doesn't want to kill trans people!