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The things Mallory Rubin must be doing to Mallory Rubin right now....

This is amazing! Thanks for posting.

But he DID punch Nazis. Academia is short in that particular department.

Re @kehuyquan.bsky.social

It's the ", and failed," that's sending me.

Brilliant

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"In addition to multiple instances of public drunkenness, Dr. Jones, on three separate occasions, has attempted to set fire to the herpetology wing of the biology department." ssssssssssss

Yes, but the provost and president of Marshall College will note how famous Dr. Jones is and how much box office he brings in, and will thereby reverse the tenure committee’s decision, granting Dr. Jones tenure and promotion.

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Professor Jones was fired from Marshall College in 1937. Fake new, McSweeney's!

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