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soap should smell and taste like opium and heroin! ...and should contain heroin! ...and toothpaste too! what was i talking about? where is my heroin?

So happy for this he’s already making soaps great again !

This is gonna destroy the Pad Thai soap industry.

This guy is a total whack job.

Unless tRump says it’s the next best new thing to eradicate Covid🩺🩻🚫🙅🏽‍♀️

We’ll have more truth from this parody than the next clownish admin

Maybe He eats a little- wouldn’t be surprising. What a skewed warped and extremely dangerous individual so ofcourse he is chosen to lead Americans back to the dark ages at putin’s glee. That makes tfg swoon.

Brain worms for everyone courtesy of RFKjr

The hero we deserve.

that's funny

Thought this was real! Nice job Onion!

What about candles? The seasonal ones come in pumpkin pie, cinnamon apple, vanilla cookie I could go on about the flavors. Don’t forget some candles are soy based-so completely edible I should think.

Woolies has a Chuckles body wash. It's in the confectionery aisle.🤷‍♀️

Breaking News: SOAP TASTES SOAPY

I saw the picture and caption and thought, "yeah that sounds like something RFK Jr. would think and do."

🙄

I still think this is a good idea. It's such a horrible tease. I just... wanna nom the forbidden block

4 years of that stupid brain? Good luck USA!

The lemon one smells and looks like a sports beverage.

The watermelon one is 🤌

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bobby's worm makes the big decisions.

These soaps are just more evidence that we’re raising soft children. Back in my day, getting soap in your mouth was a punishment. For today’s kids, it’s a treat. 😠 What is the world coming to…?

Sure, soaps are fine, but what’s next?! Bans on candles that smell so good you eat a little? You’ll have to pry my fruit loops candle from my cold dead hands, RFK! 😡

🤣

It was… SOAP Poisoning!

yum

Is it still satire? 😀

What is he just gonna make us bathe in beef tallow?

Can you start labeling whether these are true or not? I feel like this is something he would absolutely do. 😭😭

Here's the problem (love the Onion): this is so stick-bone, stone-swamp, gator-ass stupid, it IS something that worm-brain would say!

My shower snacks will NOT be regulated!

Anyone else miss the days when you could look at a head and know immediately whether it was The Onion or not?

🤣🤣🤣

Finally, someone brave enough to take on Big Soap. Because let’s be honest, we’ve all taken a whiff of apple cinnamon soap and thought, Maybe just a little nibble…

He needs to look into candles too.

JRK is smarter than us all

Smh

I'm sorry to inform you that your parody has an excellent shot at becoming reality.

I got some cookies and cream soap. Make you want to eat your fingers after washing your hands.🤪

Well placed Dude, dude!

👍🤣

good one! but chances are jr would be all in on taking a nibble. hell, it's the weekend, maybe boot a few lines!

Before I saw this was from The Onion, I thought it was serious. Yeah, things are that weird now.

I'd love to see someone put this in Kennedy's read file. He'll be hiring Onion writers as "scientists".

How about candles ?

What the actual fu*k? How is this relevant to anything?

Insane when I’m not sure if this is satire.

The onion isn't meant to tell the truth. 🤷‍♂️

Took me a second to realize this was the Onion

So how does he know this happens? My guess would be from experience.

Problem is, that headline was something I had to stop and check to confirm it was satire. I didn't see your icon at first. Whoo. Strange times.

🤣🤣

I’m not gonna admit that I ate hella soaps and lotions back in the day , that’d be kinda strange 😂

He's already legalised heroin. Just for himself. Rude.

What an absolute moron

Who eats their soap?

Took way too long to realize I was reading the onion and not just another one of his actual bs plans

A true patriot, we're saved. /s

That was from a comedy sketch, right? SNL or something, right? Am I correct? What was that movie that had Jack and the Indian chief…., incredible boat trip?

Too good

RFKJR is advocating for soap that smells like 3 day old road kill—Eau de Bobby!

I thought soap was just for dropping when Trump was behind him?

Fake news

Disgusting article. Wash your mouth out! 😉

Alright, Karen.

I can’t…..

But it cleans intestinal worms?

I just saw trump's pick for FBI Director. I don't think you could have come up with anything funnier.

That may not be sarcasm!

I literally didn't hesitate for a moment that this was a real story until I went to click on it.

It's about time!!! The people have spoken!!!!

I believe one of the most difficult jobs is writing for the Onion. How can you craft amazing parody when so often Trumps cabinet is two steps ahead their reality.

That worm still affecting him!

The scary thing is this could easily be true.

IDK, maybe its me but I've never felt the urge to bite into soap no matter how nice it smells. 😎

Also cologne that reminds him of heroin…

<3

Sends a message out to the worms of the world... 'Now it's your time... Attack that thing RFK Jr. calls a brain.... Go forth, my pretties'

Absolutely a total jerk!

Unbelievable what a nut job this guy is. Lord help us all if he really does take control of our health care agencies.

Sanest RFK take and it's not even real

i thought this was real for a sec

Maybe he needs to add the hand sanitizers that smell like fruit to that list.

I had to double-check who posted this... it's too plausible.

Cocaine will be rerouted to Don Jr and Kimberly Guilfoyle so they have enough on hand for whenever they appear on camera or give a speech (allegedly). Adderall will be rerouted to Don Sr (allegedly). The rest of us are SOL.

He eats paste & chapstick.

😂😂

This is actually a far better recommendation and has more scientific support than any other RFK notion

Not gonna lie; for a second there I forget I was reading The Onion. Cause man... I could totally see him doing that.

Does this apply to liquid soaps?

Bugger eating moron.

How are the brain worms going to bathe without their supply of soap

so brave

But he’s said in the past that them bubbles gets your brain squeaky clean

Yeah, I clicked on this article completely 100% believing it to be a real story. Because RFK jr.

He’s a flipping nut job!

So is he going to ban his stupid wife's soaps that she is trying to sell!

I think he forgot to mention flavored lip gloss. Children eat that stuff like candy.

I've never willing eaten soap, who does that?

Who eats soap? Worm Brain. Just crazy. Hope the Senators do a thorough examination.

Didn't you post this one already?

Honestly, could really believe something like this to happen when it comes to RFK jr. 😂

Could believe it to be a thing, easily. 😂👍

Sign of the times: At first thought this was for real until I did a double-take and saw it was The Onion.

Has he graduated from crayons

Damnit, this one got me 😂

This is a joke right? Who the Fvck licks soap because it smells good? Not once in my entire life have I said that smells so good I want a lick. My mom who often said she'd wash my mouth out with soap didn't I don't eat road kill or dead whale this is insane!

Thought this was real, but now that it’s the onion I don’t feel any different 😭😂

He'd just have them recalled so he has a snack.

So spot on 😂

Satire is dead. I thought this was real till I saw it was the onion 😬😂

Such an irrelevant priority.

It's wild that you're the only "news" sorce I follow on this website, and I scrolled past this and thought, "that's something he probably would do".

This idiot said a PIG worm ate half of his brain. Now it's showing.

He’s out of his ever loving mind!

Thank you, this is important. My big piggy son gets one whiff of those and starts scarfing down everything in sight. My wife made the mistake of buying pumpkin pie flavored one week and my son ate the whole pack in seconds. He looks like a pumpkin! #dumbson #idiotson #dumbwife

I actually went to share this… and had to double check that it wasn’t from The Onio…. Oops.. never mind 😂

Sadly, I have no idea if this is true or not, even though it's an Onion article.

I actually thought this was real until I saw the onion logo.