Post

Obviously.

*another one bites the dust starts playing*

The kicker, insurance company is secretly owned by Disney.

Satirical yes, but dammit if it isn't accurate

I thought The Onion was supposed to be fake news

👍 😡🤬🤬

Wait I'm confused. So you just publish actual news now? No more satire and humor? Bummer.

My friend works at a non profit that strives to makes funeral access affordable and helps people who can't afford to put their loved ones to rest! These groups always need support to fight Big Funeral. peoplesmemorial.org

Floridian here. Needed a whole new metal roof due to severe leaks during huge storm. Submitted claim on insurance (not Citzens) on which I've been religiously paying premiums for a decade or more. They pay it. And immediately try to cancel my policy. Not today MFs. Try me. I dare you. Still covered.

Basically

"we've got you covered" is just an expression, like "see you later" "have a nice day" we may never see you... nor guarantee you will have a nice day...thank you, come again.

Alternate headline: "Impoverished insurance company confused and upset as people keep submitting requests for donated money to be returned."

I believe this encapsulates the process perfectly.

Annoyed? My dudes! Imagine how we feel? Literally, we’re sick. How do we feel?!?!

#FreeLuigi

Thanks for the real news as always.

Health care companies should just tell their paid off news companies to just be quiet for a few years.

This just highlights the need for a French style solution to our parasitic classes.

🤣🤣🤣

🤣😓

an easy misunderstanding

LOL!

One good thing about being poor and on Social Security, I'm covered Medicare and Medicaid😏 I'm also not fat cause I cant afford to eat😆😆

My most time consuming task.

Oh snap. Nice burn Onion.

The Onion stories edge closer and closer to reality day by day.

More insurance company “jokes” please & thanks.

Worst part is you find out when it’s too late.

90% of the self defence weapons out there

Has United health added a CEO replacement tax yet??

There is a simpler solution to this.Stop paying and if you want health care treatment take a trip to Cuba to get it for FREE (no questions asked)!

Customer: So... are you going to pay? Insurer: I mean, eventually? Customer: When? Insurer: Not right now, I'm not feeling it today.

Loving The Onion

Investigate how much UnitedHealth Care scams Medicare. They are one of the companies that are considered Advantage Companies.

Too soon? Too real?

Ummm...

Why would anyone place a bet on their health. Insurance is a betting shop scam, and betting shops have four out more windows to take money to every one paying out.

Clear communication and realistic assurances are important

Too real, Onion!

Only a this headline will turning my brain to a soup-like homogenate with read attempts

Hey I thought this was supposed to be satire 😂😂😂

Always a fine line between politeness and promises!

consequences of Minnesota nice

"We meant we'll give you an ENVELOPE to keep them in. Hello?!!"

Especially if they’re a “ministry” not “insurance.”

Polite REALLY?

Hey @theonion.com Would you (and maybe your followers too) be kind enough to share this so that we might convince Joe to do the right thing before he leaves the building? And if you know the story of the One Starfish you'll know why we must act. ☮🌈💚 www.huffpost.com/entry/leonar... #usa #america

Despite this being an Onion post - they kind of hit the nail on the head still.

Why pay for insurance if they just keep most of the money? most would be better off with that money in a Peanut butter jar

Insurance is a business with no product. Their “product” is access around the artificial gate to actual, talented people who can help. And they make record profits doing it. This is the closest to class consciousness I’ve ever seen us get, and only because the target was so uniquely evil and useless

Link to the original: bsky.app/profile/raha...

(The insurance company, if savvy as well as corrupt, will still employ legal Drs... just find ways to make sure not too many pay-outs are made)

Especially with the courts currently in the hands of those very sympathetic to corporate interests. Honestly the goal is simply to make the shareholders skittish and encourage selling off their interest. Stock value is the only thing that matters to the C-suite, have to hit them where they care.

Oh so that's what they thought... oh my..

They cover your bills like a coffin covers a carcass.