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“Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to FAFO, no cap.”

😆 even grade 6 reading level equivalency should get the gist?

Old fascism -> New Fascism

Okay but they are obviously not going to do that

Oh they're looking a lot at history. They think they can out Hitler fascism and get it to stick this time. Fucking losers.

That we be a start of it wasn't so true.

But really, please ask us. Historians love to tell you about this shit.

Oh Onion, I long for the glory days past when you posted whimsical things, laughable little vignettes of implausable tomfoolery perpetrated by daft citizens and politicians alike. Were it possible to return us all to that saner, gentler timeline, I would give my own soul to see it so.

He who does learn history, is doomed to watch everyone else succeed at repeating it.

“Read about the fall of the Reichstag and the rise of the Third Reich. It’d be a lot cooler if you did.” ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼

Time to drop the fucking politeness I reckon.

lol

Gawd I miss The Onion. Y'all should've rebranded for whatever this is....

Civilisations typically implode after 250 years. The US celebrates it's 250th birthday soon. Obviously, there is no correlation.

Ya think???

Nah, it'll be fine!

Reading a history book before fleeing fascism has not been recommended before. Perhaps this one time we can consider an alternative approach unless you can read quickly.

Keep 'em ignorant by not teaching history, then it's brand new to them, and you can do whatever you want

Those who reduce access to history desire to repeat it

I hate how true this is.

Eh, some who remember history are taking the wrong kinds of notes and purposefully repeating some aspects of it.

Came to say pretty much this, leaving...well not Satisfied but y'know.

Typical historians shilling for big history.

"History will teach us nothing." - Gordon Sumner aka Sting

At least they're polite about it.

Waaaait.....

I'm sure aggressive colonial nations deciding amongst themselves how to divide up other countries without that country's involvement will work out fine and there will be no long lasting repercussions.

Like oh say Andrew Jackson and the INDIAN REMOVAL ACT, 1830 OR JEFFERSON DAVIS and Robert Lee and the Confederacy Like those

Too real

"Oh what do these experts know?!? Just a bunch of nerds!"

When reality is so surreal that The Onion can no longer create headlines that are clear satire.

History? "Who cares, we'll all be dead" George W. Bush (and he is a moral giant compared to what we have now) trueman-triola.stories.email

Unfortunately, more than half of the nation they’re addressing doesn’t even know what the word “historian” means.

Is this the article that was supposed to run on Nov 5th?

I wish this were funny. 😭😭

clearly we need to gentle parent politicians

Too late 🤣🤣

I think they have been been reading up on the past, just the wrong stuff. Not the stuff we wrote about the evil dictators, but the stuff written BY the evil dictators.

And this is not satire, it’s the responsable thing to do.

There is a reason why humanities were the first institutions to be attacked by neoliberalism. We have terrible historical literacy in the US

Satire becomes difficult when the outrageous is the norm

I imagine you could have just asked @kevinmkruse.bsky.social to pose for this, and he would have done so gladly.

Narrator: nation will not learn from the past.

Things are breaking, so maybe they didn't have to say it.

Check out the article.

That's the point

Yep. Sharpen the guillotine!

In time, Onion will report on the weather and send out journalists and fact checkers, and we will know satire is dead since reality is much much more insane

Look at it this way, historians: if we didn’t repeat our stupid mistakes, there wouldn’t be as much work for you.

Why, let economy burn to the ground Republicans GOP Felon Donald, Illegal Alien Elon Musk Doggy, his H1B visa Incels already selling out the people of United States and the government.

“Look Back Before You Act,” the most important sentence. No more money to terrorists next door to rebuild just to spend it on tunnels. The refusal of 5 peace deals is telling. Trump told the world no more rinse and repeat.

Need to crack on and buy another of these Cassandra-esque beauties.

How far we've fallen when reality becomes satire. Or is it satire becoming reality?

Certainly a good piece of advice.

Satire is less funny than real life now.

It’s been on my office door for years.

Those who hide the past are hellbent on repeating it. Stab them with forks.

Too real, or too unreal, not even sure anymore.

Pretty sure that's a member of the potato race.

Yeeaahhh what is reality and what is farce anymore??

Follow Timothy Snyder and read his Substack. @timothysnyder.bsky.social substack.com/@snyder

Investing in Education is a lot cheaper than investing in Incarceration www.laresistance47.com/shop/education

Time really IS speeding up. In 2020 we were reliving 1920 with all of the pandemic and crazy fears. Now in 2025 we are reliving 1936-45.

When The Onion doesn't read as satire, it's a sign things are upside down.

If only…

I remember watching the last few seasons of “House of cards” after trump was elected in 2016. I never finished them because our reality made the show look like Nickelodeon.

"in the 1930s, financial markets—no, wait, I’m sorry. Here: A long, long time ago, " Where's the satire? Can't find it.

Now by past did he mean now which is past now behind us even if it was the future like now which also passed us by ?

Hilarious to us, but still to stilted for the MAGA denizens who have checked their bank accounts and have squat in them. Those that do have millions are as amoral as ally cats to people or nations and could care less

Right. Right. Geniuses... Maga Geniuses. bsky.app/profile/lane...

Why does every onion post just feel more like a general review of the last week, but in “ironic quotations” to make it seem funny somehow

Is "Historian" still a legal profession in this country? They keep bringing up a lot of bad stuff that happened in the past.

Lets revise that to "What's happening TO the past"... oh wait. That wouldn't be light hearted parody would it.

Why bother with history when we can just make the same mistakes with more expensive technology? Ignoring the past has worked so well before... right?

Okay experts this is a challenge directed at y’all… WE THE PEOPLE want a PRESIDENTIAL RE- DO ELECTION! Now I’ve done some research on the matter it’s not easy but I strongly believe we are in strange & unusual times the constitution does answer the question. I’m throwing down the gauntlet.

That’s ridiculous, because of the internet and other technology you cannot begin to compare today’s political insanity to the past.

They did! That’s why they r following the plan so closely…

Hey stop posting what far-left grandpas post on this site

Half of America: What’s history?

They don't want us to study history so they can repeat it without having anyone questioning or comparing it to what happened before. Tragic.

What? Learn from the past???!!! No way??!

This doesn't feel satire anymore...

I think they’re using it as the playbook.

Anonymous Republican sen. claim Historians' statement as "woke manifesto" The Garlic

Sad that The Onion can just rehash stories and they are still relevant today. It's as if we can't learn from history.

I just made this totally unrelated post. bsky.app/profile/thec...

People who know history are doomed to watching others repeat it....

That would imply some of these mfs can read.

Yikes, I think someone else took over The Onion, probably Alex Jones.

Elon Musk: "Bet you Nazi this coming"

Wait, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea???

Sorry, the past you are calling no longer exists. Please check the number and try again later, say in four years.

Nation will check nothing citing prior empires as precedent. "Look, they ran their shit full-tilt into a wall, too. It's our turn now."

Chesterton’s Fence principle applies here

So this ISN'T a satire page...?

Uhm, our nation can't read.

But Trump supporters burned the history books.

Teenagers have been asking that for generations. I remember. Some teachers attempted to justify knowledge by finding applications for each fact to a hypothetical adult life. Two teachers said that you need knowledge in general. They both gave solid explanations. The kids listened better.

I haven’t really been polite about it the last three years. Why would anyone listen to us?! Lol

Noooo, thats history and education and such. Covfeve bigly

The Onion is out of stuff to write because nothing could be more insane than real life right now

🤔 now they'll ban history because it's "woke"...and we might end up with some funny north Korean like narratives, like how trump created the earth...

you think?

The Onion is becoming too real.