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It is the kind of thing man babies would feel threatened by.

It’s never been harder to come up with crazy scenarios. Kudos to the Onion for staying just a half step ahead of reality.

They got that one right. Women are very dangerous creatures once provoked. 😂

cap🧢

Same :D

They are so completely terrified and triggered by strong and/or capable women that it's completely believable

Right!

wow this is so believable I was going to get upset. the onion needs to be careful it doesn't turn into a set of instructions.

This is about a week away from turning into reality.

Probably soon not to be satire.

That’s a slam dunk.😂

Or is it just holding its head above water in this war of lunatics.

And am sure MAGA also have NWSL in mind.

At first I was like, "You know that tracks." and then I was "Wait, it's The Onion. Still too close to reality."

How long before it’s no longer satire and it is real 🤨

Women who make their own money and decisions, that's the definition of terror.

So every single time, I get a heart palpitation when I read these then frantically look for the onion logo. Because I believe Rubio could, and would.

I love the Onion. Makes my mind conjure up all sorts of story lines with this headline.

I mean my god I wouldn’t doubt anything these ASSHOLES DO!

I wouldn't put it past them.

This could easily be real by Monday. It’s cute to see lil’ Marco find his stride as an authoritarian henchman.

Don't give 'em ideas.

It's all that teamwork! Men, especially white men, can't play as well with others!

FFS, don't give them ideas, you have to stop doing this.

The Onion is the reason why you must always check the source of your articles.

Honestly, I had to look closely as it sounds entirely plausible today.

It would be funny if a previous administration didn't want to declare the national teacher's union a terrorist organization.

How nice for Sec Rubio take time out of his busy schedule bailing his head of security out of jail to make this presentation.

The State Department better be careful, the WNBA is infinitely more organized and functional than our current government (low bar)

Not me reading this and thinking it wasn't satire 😑

Marco says to was all a huge mistake.... Now packing up the family to go back to Cuba.

Any woman taller than Ted Cruz will be arrested on site.

Ok how much longer are you all gonna wait till he says nope you can't buy that house, you don't fit the demographic I want here!! The orange king has spoken,! Get use to it. Pussy wiped Americans

You already posted this. bsky.app/profile/theo...

Again, thought this was true. We are living in an Oniony hellscape.

When you have to look twice to make sure it’s satire.

When you listen to Rubio trying to justify his dictatorship edicts by throwing out students, it would not surprise me if he thinks women are now terrorists. Rubio has gone full fascist.

👍🏼

Given the state of the country, I actually believed it for a split second before i saw your icon 🥲 don’t give them any ideas please

Please don’t give them any ideas.

Interestingly, Homeland Security have been using Grok for image analysis on tattoos such as the ones on the knuckles of Cameron Brink.

There a hidden clause in the big beautiful bill. Which would take away the power of federal Judges who challenge Trumps executive orders! Making them noll and void!! This is crazy; He'll be able to do what ever he what's and send anybody anywhere! Wake up!

😂

They attack women any way they can think of.

Stop giving them ideas. 😭

Stoppp ur gonna give them ideassss

Those players -- have you seen their wicked shots? -- play radically well on court. I can see why Rubio is scared.

I still had to double take this, which is where we are. Great job. Yet. Sigh.

Watch it happen😬

I wish a knew of this was satire or not. *checks source* Oh The Onion. I wish I knew if this was satire or not.

As much as I know this is satire, I wouldn't be surprised if this came true in the next couple years.