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The headline of the year!

Man, that was close. I almost thought Chuck Schumer would not do the worst possible thing.

Doomer, the Schumer, needs to go away.

Woulda been better as just text without the AI slop.

Fuck this AI slop

Get this AI crap outta here

AI is a fascist technology. You support fascist tech ghouls when you use it.

HAHAHA - this is great. I needed that laugh.

Stealing this

It stopped being fake about 9 years ago.

2/2 When Senator Schumer, a few months ago, boasted that he had sent Trump a very strong letter, it reminded me of my late grandfather. One difference: My grandfather knew he was joking.

GODDAMN FECKLESS DEMOCRATS do this EVERY FUCKING TIME! If you don’t have the courage of your convictions, you should not be claiming to “represent the people!” Kicking the can to January doesn’t mean a goddamn thing because they’re gonna cave then, too! COMPLICIT JAGOFFS, THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM! 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼

Surrender monkeys

Democratic leaders are circular firing squad facing inward

That man should be egged in every public appearance he gives ever.

I didn’t march in the streets of Chicago to have weakling Chuck fold to the orange taco! I’m livid.

Can @aoc.bsky.social Primary this oxygen-thieving waste of rations?

😵‍💫🤣🤣🤣

With allies like these, who needs enemies?

bsky.app/profile/murd...

When was the last time Schumer did anything courageous while in office?

He needs to be history, NOW!

Schumer has got to be replaced, NOW!

Exactly

Meant retire NOW, today so @govpritzker.illinois.gov can put in someone competent.

Fuck the dementiacrats.

This isn’t really satire. It is fact.

Yay

Schumer will spend his retirement working on Trump's sex farms.

This isn’t even satire…

An oldie but a goodie, alas

So true ... every damn time 🤬 @schumer.senate.gov

Once again, The Onion delivers closer to the truth than the real media.

Ha ha ha Ho ho ho

Defeat snatched from the jaws of victory!

Yes, let's crucify our own for busting our butts for zero GOP support. This cruelty is 100% on the GOP.

The Onion is just news now.

Get rid of Chuck

It's past time for Chuck to step down. How about Bernie Sanders?

The country needs an opposition with a spine to check Trumps frequent excesses. Schumer needs to go

I am hearing that Schumer is not in favor of this latest budget compromise.

Yippee. Primary the mother fucker

Hey Chuck, kiss your ass good bye.

Where is Harry Reid when we desperately need him?

It's time for Chuck to go to the house.

bsky.app/profile/empi...

Fuck Chuck...worthless twat..

Unlike the Democrats, the Republicans have strong leadership that unites all members of parliament behind their goals. As long as the Democrats fail to establish strong leadership, they will continue to lose elections and plunge America further into misery. Thank you for that.

I hear theres a job opening at mandanis office for chuck.....its called goat colonoscomy surgeon

Klobuchar for minority leader

I hope that’s the actual fucking headline tomorrow morning

That’s the secret: They’re hardcore Republicans.

So people kept voting for this guy over the years because he was never contested in primary?

He’s such a spineless little bitch.

Spineless tools that they are. Did anyone TRULY expect anything more from them? They are opposition in name only, when will people FINALLY get that?

@schumer.senate.gov

Phew, that was close

Evergreen

Gotta love The Onion...pissing on the Dems while the base is on fire! 👍🤦‍♂️

Damn, this made me laugh and cry at the same time.

What was the point of all the suffering if you were going to get down on your knees. I hear Newsom is running a Black Friday sale on knee pads, better grab 2, they do wear down over time

If Chuck Schumer was a football coach he would punt on first down

Its satire but that establishment democrat has got to go!

This is a spit on the face to all of us who have shown up the courage needed to be a resistance force. They have shattered our kneecaps and given more power to the sadistic billionaires to fuck us all. It’s a disgrace to be associated with dems. They’re no different. A bunch of spineless, cowards.

Thanks, Chuck! I really didn’t want to have health insurance. Or eat. And now I won’t have to worry about those pesky things anymore and just die

The Dem Senators who voted NO must represent the voters and show courage by removing Schumer. Its the only way to fix this in any fashion to be able to maintain voter support. Everyone is watching to see who will leave the old guard behind and move forward in this critical time. Help us save us!

Despise this man

With Democrats like that WHO needs Republicans.

Omg...you just lost a lifelong Dem...this is a party of gutless self-serving politicians afraid to RESPOND to the people's cries RIGHT NOW... Tomorrow is too late for millions. Deaths, illnesses uncovered because aca is skyrocketed out of our reach... is on YOU! #Dems4SufferingRU

Award winning line

Cuck Schumer

Schumer addresses the Senate floor, "Trump not only stole Medicaid from the most vulnerable, but he also stole my balls."

Either Schumer engineered this betrayal, or he is too weak as minority leader to hold his caucus together. Either way, Chuck Schumer must go. Withhold money and primary every senator who does not publicly vote for his removal. In 2026, 2028, and 2030. Always remember their betrayal!

Rot in hell Schumer.

Just left this message at Schumer's contact page: 80% of the American people believe the ACA is worth fighting for. The Democratic party had a landslide election. And you settled for a promise from a regime that lies every single day? Shame on you, sir.

Honestly, that deal wasn't terrible. It would've guaranteed the subsidies while moving forward, and would've forced the issue as a wedge against Republicans right before the midterms. Republicans obviously rejected it because they knew it was going to be bad for them.

Well theres a lot more than 8 fuckers in there lol but yea its been a failure of leadership for 40 years now its nothing new

I can't help but wonder if he didn't negotiate better because he knew enough dems were going to vote yes, so he could safely vote no and neither be held responsible for caving nor for "allowing" the shutdown to continue. But I don't follow his actions closely enough to know.

Didn't he vote against it?

he is toast

Chuck Cuomer

Nothing will provoke aggression in your opponent like showing unwillingness to use an advantage. Some guy in some book I read somewhere once idk.

You can’t even blame the ones who did this. You have a gaping hole where a brain should be and you think you get to be on the left when you act exactly the same as the right

bsky.app/profile/5050...

Ol' Chuck is weird, let the whole world know it He brought in his bucket to show it We all had a fit When we saw it was shit We didn't know he was going to throw it — Unknown, but possibly David Gerrold

"we need a strong Republican party" was kind of the end of it for me. Thanks Nancy for saying the quiet bits out loud

I'm not going to get angry at a lion who eats a tourist, because that's what lions do. I will however hold it against the park ranger who stands by and watches. Republicans are doing what they were elected to do. The Democrats are not.

Exactly. I want the dems to succeed in stopping the gop. I expected better from them and hoped that pressure would push them to do more.

#ChuckSchumerResign — healthcare isn’t politics, it’s life 😡

The Onion always hits it on the nail unlike anyone else

Fuck Chuck and The Hateful Eight

😆

Such an a$$

Nothing to worry about. Mrs Doubtfire just said it's a good bill.

This is a recent photo of a HOPEFULLY soon to be *FORMER* Democratic Senate Minority Leader!

If there was anyone in the VIBRANT DEMOCRATIC PARTY that is NOT FIT TO BE IN OUR LEADERSHIP It’s Chuck Schumer! He has repeatedly kept DEMOCRATS from being the “WINNER” in these Negotiations. Every time he FOLDS it tells Republicans to just keep pressuring him & he WILL ALWAYS GIVE IN!

THATS IT! WE MUST GET THAT FOOLISH SUCKER SCHUMER REPLACED w/ a REAL SMART AMERICAN LEADER ASAP! SCHUMER ALWAYS backs down bc he does NOT have what it takes to be a LEADER in 2025 BATTLES for DEMOCRACY! HOW can we get him REPLACED? He’s PATHETIC! Nancy Pelosi obviously was the LEADER! NOT HIM!

Looking to call Chuck Schumer? Trying to find a live person? Here's every number he's got. @chuckschumer.com @schumer.senate.gov #CHUCHKschumer 202-224-6542 212-486-4430 631-753-0978 518-431-4070 607-772-6792 716-846-4111 914-734-1532 585-263-5866 315-423-5471

Chuck sucks donkey dick!

At this point, is Schumer even a Democrat?

@schumer.senate.gov what time is the Yes Kings rally?

Dems never fail to fail. the donors finally had enough and told them turn the flow of money on again

Weakness personified

We almost had it.

I thought you only did satire?

this is supposed to be satire

"But maybe they'll be our friends now!"

Tuesday gave them so much momentum but apparently that paid opposition money is working just fine.