aeternamente

Literacy crisis: everyone is mad at Ed Sheeran, but if you actually read his statement he specifically said he’s not complicit

me: hi gimme a large pizza pizza guy: any appetizers? me: what do you have? pizza guy: we've got fried cheese with no sauce or crust, crust with no cheese or sauce, and crust and cheese with no sauce me: gimme crust and cheese with no sauce pizza guy: and for your dip? me: sauce

My one foldable phone opinion (for no reason at all): they should be phone-sized when folded and (small-ish) tablet-sized when opened, otherwise what's the point

🎨 @jmcgg.bsky.social (etsy: justinsshirtstore)

Anytime someone asks me how I’m doing I mutter the only way out is through

I did not in fact visit the weed shop, but I'm sure whoever gave them my number had a great experience with team member Jess

Wheat Field with Rising Sun - 1889 https://botfrens.com/collections/46/contents/1408801

someone could do a “after moulton rebuke, centrists face growing pressure to retreat from extreme right-wing positions on gender conformity” number that would be fun

the vibes are immaculate.

Optimist: the cup is half full. Pessimist: the cup is half empty. Musician: [running a finger around the rim] the cup is out of tune :/

Optimist: the cup is half full Pessimist: the cup is half empty Optometrist: [placing the cup in front of one of your eyes] now read the third line down

Small Jar, 1899 https://botfrens.com/collections/48/contents/14939

possible alternate ending for @shipwreckedcomedy.bsky.social's poe party musical?

these are some excellent squiggles. truly nobody squiggles like van Gogh

make autism brain go brrrr

not to be confused with quesadilla

i made this choice when i was like 4

Birb.

the number of attack ads I sat through patiently just knowing the money was being wasted on me

YES!!!!

“Music, when combined with a pleasurable idea, is poetry.” - Edgar Allan Poe 🐦‍⬛ Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party: The Musical, playing this month at the Garry Marshall Theatre 🔪🐦‍⬛🎶 www.poepartymusical.com #poeparty #poepartymusical

this happened 14 minutes ago but unfortunately due to my personality "Proplem in elvator" has immediately become a load-bearing part of my vocabulary

digging my fingernails into the skin of an orange, just to peel something

just took a shower and now I'm hungry why are bodies so needy :/

very diminuendo so softer wow

or possibly banjosephine

anyway i wrote a thing ⬇️

My new piece, Copypasta, performed here by @1streadingsproject.bsky.social, is a setting of three tumblr text post memes youtu.be/aTSMjVtn8IU?...