Astre

Dawg they’ve got the president of the United States campaigning in MISSISSIPPI

💪🏻🌊💙

I hope Natalie shows Trump this clip of Harry Enten comparing Obama's popularity with his unpopularity

every racist shit a brick when Obama dared to President While Black. of course, they couldn't *say* that, so they had to pretend that everything was a scandal — and the racists are back with a new one. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I explain. link is here: bit.ly/3UkziY1

Cc: @unclejimmy.bsky.social

here's Sunday's post: "Let’s all watch Barack Obama and Jon Ossoff use Preznit Fuckwit as a chew toy" — They’re so good at this. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff —

i can’t let myself think about it too often or i’ll spiral but dammit we were so close to never having to give a shit what he said ever again

Hey MAGA

I just researched “how many volcanoes in the world” and “how many billionaires in the world” and the results are disheartening

“It’s so much worse than people realize… we are sitting ducks…” Service members and military families share accounts/photos/videos of being attacked in Trump’s pointless war, as leadership fails them, and hides the truth. (From @MeidasTouch) meidasnews.com/news/so-much...

Jared Kushner’s hacked iPhone revealed he promised MBS and MBZ he would push their agenda with Trump if they participated in a secret fund, with the two royals initially discussing over $10B before ultimately placing at least $2B into his accounts. Paywalled, use archive. archive.ph/FHGAt

“I torched 8 houses and am very close to putting out two”

[fade in] Paul Blart rides his segway through a darkened mall. as the music swells ominously, we hear a voiceover of our steely hero’s innermost thoughts…

It's my birthday so I'm taking the evening off and skipping the Trump rally in South Carolina. I really appreciate all the kind birthday wishes -- they really mean a lot 🥹 And if you'd like to buy me a birthday drink you can do so here. Thank you!

we gotta bring back shame, man society doesn’t work real well without consequences for being an enormous piece of shit in public

Ladies…let’s collapse the economy.

October surprise! (In the voice of Paul Lynde)

here's today's post: "Same rally, different day: Welcome to the worst version of Groundhog Day ever, starring Preznit Fuckwit." it’s all so eternally exhausting. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

Please don’t rely on the polls. If they were accurate, we wouldn’t have heard a word about Trump in the last decade.

Blue all day, every day.

Who tf is going to buy an acrobatic car from a Nazi that can’t even make rockets fly consistently.

thank you for your attention to my coverage of No Kings Four, in which I celebrate the best, and mock all the whiny MAGA dipshits. also, Dear Leader sure seems obsessed with dudes' butts. please read, link is here: bit.ly/4ses04T

Donald Trump is what would happen if someone tried to make stupid from concentrate but forgot to add water.

Talafreako, baby! I’m in.

here's Monday's post: "The livestreamed executions will continue until morale improves" didn’t anyone think this through? thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

I’m assuming since Markwayne isn’t so good at taking hints, he’s been told explicitly that the boss wants to see cities burning in revolt by Election Day.

here's today's post: "meet the smitten cultist who finds racist memes for Dear Leader to post" — her job is to keep Donny stupid and happy. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

Dear China, No return policy. Thanks, JC

If someone were to suggest this on tomorrow's Fox & Friends there's a nonzero chance it would happen.

"It’s telling that Vance’s notion of a freewheeling, lighthearted campaign involves disparaging political opponents with baseless slander and sexist screeds."

NEW: Judge Chutkan sets schedule for next steps in DC Trump prosecution: presidential immunity filings due 9/26, 10/17, 10/29 storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

Trump buried his wife at a golf course so he could keep cheating on her

michelle obama just snapped that man clean in half

how am i supposed to get any work done today

New in PN: It's fine to laugh at JD Vance and his couch "There is no reason on earth to scruple about throwing a harmless rhetorical pie while your opponents are insisting that you kill babies and give porn to toddlers."