Chris Delauder

Favorite film in haiku: you know for the kids quick rise and then faster fall but then redemption

well, when you put it like that...

the republican grift machine is now old enough to be multi-generational

I GOT THE MOOPSY FART IMAGES

electric jet ski

I'll take things my ex said for 800 Alec

vulgarian!

i just registered for the big spiel and it's a mix of OR an MN folks and our team name is you have died of hotdish. we're going to have the best uniform for this!

portland owned

i'm happy to see things are finally catching up to the coalition of the absolute worst people

abba am i doing this right?

omfg they're actually doing it!!!

i can't believe people are laughing at this. pizzas only do this when they are injured or scared.

blep!

my colleague made a pr implementing a custom load balancer yesterday and i said i think that was maybe not the right direction and we should use known off-the-shelf services so he closed his pr and today opened a new one where my suggestions are in all in the description in scare quotes 🤣

FINALLY MY TIME TO SHINE

Cannot disregard the possibility that whipping up Watergate trutherism gets extremely confused Floridian retirees to vote for a Senator Nixon

just searched giphy for "stored" and discovered that stoned gif aficionados can't spell

GOAT OR BIRD????

cold brew akimbo (2019)

she's obviously tired. why won't she lay down and take a nap

i just remembered that guy on tik tok who built an eel pit in his basement

i cannot put into words how much i hate the tarmac bus

teef!

Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.

oh in dallas

i'm on the board of the curling club and tonight is our opening night party and now i'm supposed to mingle while all i can think about is the slut gnomes of false berlin. thanks a lot kenathon

keeping “came in a fluffer” takes this from funny to high art

i'm still reeling from finding out a couple of days ago that i'm older than Jamelle Bouie

how did i know it was time to go outside and walk the dogs? my entire bluesky feed was reposts and discussion of the aella birthday gangbang sankey chart

going to go around insulting people by telling them they could get a job at the fbi

you really have to hand it to kash patel for ensuring that the fbi will now forever be thought of as bestiality practitioners

Now here’s something everyone can enjoy www.instagram.com/reel/Dc_LNlx...

typo = was the grink there? bleak = did the grunch write that?

there are spiders everywhere rn. i haven't seen them this prolific in years

Dear Canadian immigration authorities - i'm a pretty decent club curler

there's some kids with a trebuchet at 1000 acres

my friend sent me this with absolutely context

THUNDER!

my friend sent me this with absolutely context

they beat meta to legs

Congrats everybody! We did it!