Catbear

Well youve got the maxine action figure to play with!!!

Me tbh

Saw a joke post about petplay where instead of a dog you're a truffle hog. That seemed more appealing to me, either because pretending to be a dog is trite or because I like to feel useful.

Database you will be pet until you are smooth

Please bisexual goth woman give me a chance! I can be just like your slovenly boyfriend but with c cups and emotional intelligence

Having big round d cups would probably fix all my problems

I wish i had "works too much" brainworms and not "lazy chud" brainworms. Both are bad im sure but at least id have something to show for the former

Do you think people with a piss kink incorporate prop jellyfish into their roleplay

Shen comix is losing the mandate of the transgenders. A dangerous gambit indeed..

leaving cans of beans around my newborn just to see if i can recapture the magic

my reaction when i wake up in Pete The Cat's body with all of my human memories

I keep inviting girls over to watch stuff and they always leave when i tell them my only streaming service is wikipedia 😔 (mom wont let me use 123movies)

"What am I reading lately" hmm uhh. Wikipedia entry list of Mesopotamian deities. Wikipedia entry list of fire deities. Wikipedia entry list of wind deities. Wikipedia entry Cambrian explosion. Wikipedia entry Greek primordial deities. That's the main stuff right now. And lots of their hyperlinks

ai food in these posters always looks like nightmare sequences in shows where someone will be eating what they think is delicious food but then they look down and turns out its maggots and other bugs

Family in Buffalo genuinely just asked me if I would rather go to “Adolf’s” or “Nine Eleven” for lunch and they were being completely sincere

“adult human female” being the TERF rallying cry is one of the strangest things to me because it just reminds me of how cattle farmers refer to their livestock

When general audiences dont get your ending so you genuinely have to explain to them what a boymoder is

liberals when they see a meteor barreling straight towards earth:

Mobster, pointing a gun at my head: Any last words kid Me: I actually like to use women's deodorant because the stuff for men dries out my skin and smells like harsh chemicals *BANG* (3 hours later, at Walmart) (Mobster holding Dove Advance Care in the deodorant aisle) Hmm...

When I was a kid I asked my therapist if I should be worried that my internal voice was being narrated by Wheatley from Portal 2 and he deathly serious asked me if Wheatley ever told me to do anything to my friends or family

As a fat guy you usually pull your shirt down. As a fat girl you usually pull your pants up. Id know, ive been both

do you think there's ever been a baby whose first words were "my leige". and his family is all gathered around like "awww i think he'll be a sycophantic court advisor when he grows up!"

How the hell do you avoid butt acne. Face makes sense. Wash it, keep it clean, but your butt surrounds your anus and you sit on toilet seats with it. Its just a losing battle man

who would win, mighty number 9 or five nighty number 4

they could have really turned the reception of that nerd guy from metroid prime 4 around if they made a scene where he sees a monster and pisses his space suit. then people would want to have sex with him

In the next Kingdom Hearts game Sora should go to a sports betting world

Dude I can't have SHIT in this life not even a toy