old uncle BATface

my friend: are you going to art's party tonight? seems like you've got a lot going on me: I don't know, i feel like i got to since he's always at mine the medieval peasant i brought to our time on his second bag of guacamole doritos: might we stop for a second "jimmied john" me: sure man i guess

the first time some peasants pulled a nobleman off his horse and killed him, the whole battlefield must have gone insane

little did we know that "Official Xbox Magazine Declares Xbox Awesome" would set the tone for the rest of our lives

me and the fellas headin' down to the old quarry to hear all about the new guy the president hates

subscribe to my only fans

crunk! at the vegan wedding

don't comply. rfkjr wants all the pickled mice for himself

don turnbee is only nine years older than me wtf

The trump administration has a strong interest in combatting voter fraud in the same way I have a strong interest in defending my home against Sasquatch attacks. In that we both spend way too much time thinking and drawing up plans to solve our made up problems.

is the jimono too formal for this party, babe?

the fbi agent who watches me: hey man, got a new guy here who's gonna shadow me for a bit me: beastiality hire?

wow! that sucks shit!

both already looking like they've contracted Graham's Linehan Disease

they got my boy trimmed up like grandma's patio furniture

one of the most interesting reveals of the dialect map is how all of you talk wrong

ai has finally come for my job!

when my wife and @senatorivy.com get together

making up a guy for my enemies to get mad at

the media and the wealthy just hear this shit and nod and no one ever tells them to shut the fuck up. yeah ok The Liar's Autocorrect is gonna let us buy galaxies no fuck off

that's two 80 years olds. crossing my fingers incredibly hard for a very specific "rule of three"

seeing the incredible outpouring of love for Dolly, imagine what it's gonna be like on here when he finally kicks

this is the mat my friend puts in front of his tent while camping. unsure of the level of irony it's operating on

we're calling them spreadskeets

going to miss interacting with the juice theft community on here but something has to be done

nancy mace will take lips back, full teeth bites out of your flesh. are you nuts

@internethippo.bsky.social

Yeah, man, cleft. No, I don't know in how much. I'll ask

your hate has achieved what was once thought impossible. thank you

whatever happens tonight, i was happy to see people all over america come together to hate haley stevens

Saudi EAbia

holy shit fuck off

snapchat filters are great

i truly believed in noel but i was a fool

it's weird eminem was so popular cause when i hear it now it's like the most annoying guy you know hands you his mixtape and says it's $10

good evening. jd vance was a 42 year experiment conducted by uc berkeley to provoke lapsed catholics into defending the papacy. the experiment is now complete. thank you

my $10 investment over 20 years ago continues to pay massive dividends

lindsey graham covering for mitch lol

amazing how easy it's been to completely dismantle anything even remotely good and, if we even get the opportunity, we'll have to fight tooth and nail to restore it

Superhuman Safety Squad #5

he doth appear a man most-spidered