CleanupHitter

If you want to beat a Steve Sarkisian team, let them take a lead.

Going to start using this as my standard teaching example of categorical logic. "All left-wing transgender witches hate Donald Trump, but not all who hate Donald Trump are left-wing transgender witches."

I say again: Sark has no idea how to put away a reeling opponent. #TexasLonghorns

Nice try, White Claw, but your commercials aren’t going to make me go look and see who or what Teddy Swims is.

Commonly used units of measurement in the United States: * 12 inches make 1 foot * 8 pints make one gallon * 2.2 Zacharias make 1 Scaramucci

I choose to believe Uecker is watching and is thrilled. #MilwaukeeBrewers

Still holds the record for "Greatest Bespectacled Catcher in MLB History." Danny Jansen not even close to matching him.

Hell, yeah. Let’s see this turn into a siege like the City Hall hostage scene in “RoboCop.”

Steve Sarkisian, hire this man and immediately hand off playcalling to him.

The Stepford Dolts

We see again that Sarkisian still has no idea how to put away an opponent on the ropes. Also reminded there were reasons Manning didn’t beat out Ewers in two years.

I miss Quinn Ewers.

No, no, Arch Manning.

Do you think this pair has ever hosted a house party without a guest leaving them an upper-decker?

Blonde Liar to be Replaced by Identical Blonde Liar

An East Texas and Longhorn football legend has taken his leave. texaslonghorns.com/news/2026/10...

This needs to happen.

We're gonna be signing a document today to make ‘fetch’ happen. We’re going to be saying ‘fetch.’ Officially making it happen."

Never change, aggy.

October came early this year.

Hingle McCringleberry says that was a tricky-tack penalty on Colin Simmons.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Longhorns.

Me, talking about the opening sequence of “The Rifleman.”

Flipping through the channels and just came across “The Death of Stalin” right at the very start. Very funny AND a great preview of how things will go down when IT happens.

I’ve decided I’m fully on board the AL West being won with an 80-82 record. Let’s do this. Perfectly fitting for our Age of Enshittification.

You dogass Rangers.

This motherfucker.

aggy deserves this.

I, for one, will feel a little more secure knowing our troops are all sporting morning wood.

Wow. WOW! What a comeback.

Texas is Texasing.

Here we see Ryan Wingo’s receiving mentor.

Ted Cruz making his presence felt early.

Let me tell you about trying to be an obsessed baseball fan in the late 1980s, kat 😭

[Exit Queen.]

Seventh-grade badass talking to his fifth-grade cousin.

Yes, Ted Cruz. We need this. Please bedeck yourself in Ken Paxton apparel and show up grinning and posing at his events.

Texas boy here. Just wanted to make sure all y’all live posting on #TOTP reruns know how much I enjoy following along. A lot of fun keeping up with all the comments.

Least surprising news I’ve learned today: Natalie Harp was homeschooled. Everything totally tracks.

I’m calling dibs on getting credit for coming up with “Rasputina.”

I feel like I bear a share of the blame in this. They're gone but I still have my cassettes.

Amusing myself by imagining this being exclaimed by a member of the Jamaican family from "In Living Color."

Apple taking a look at Bell Telephone's old business model and thinking they have found a gem.

East Texans, I know that some of these have been sold in Brookshire's up your way. My folks had a couple of dozen of an affected batch in their fridge. Don't eat 'em. Trumparrhea is coming for us all.

This makes me the misty-eyed nostalgic in me happy. Bringing back land-grand scams but with a modern X-fried twist.

Vince Young in 2005 was the best college QB I've ever seen. Unbelievably athletic, and his pure, overriding DESIRE to win -- paired with a complete confidence that he would, no matter the circumstance -- was off the chart. But... he's not going to come off looking good here, is he?