wopper jr

interloper

i think people seriously overcomplicate chili. it really only involves three ingredients: water, beans and msg. if there are any foods you’re allergic to, throw some of that in for some added zing. don’t heat the pot. don’t be performative

yeah man "woke 1" sucked ass. I "woke 1" morning from uneasy dreams to find myself transformed into a giant insect

noble

This week on Patreon, a-maze-ing wallpaper! 😃 Friend or Demon. Casting Spells. Staying Organized. Plus next week’s strip, Witch dot com, is already out

Pixar movie about a rubber ducky that has to leave the bath and explore the house outside the bathroom. They think the bath is their damn pond. The dog is probably squeaking on him. and he’s like oh brother. I’m getting too old for this quap

this is how it feels to complete a task

At drive-thru speaker: Could I please get the number 5 and fries if you happen to have those back there thank you so much In between speaker and window: Demons rule the earth what are we FUCKING supposed to do build HELL from toothpicks FUCK At window: Thank you please have a ravishing life :)

please help… my son…

everyone's talking about some guy. who cares.

i don't think i should be required to work hard and do a good job when everyone with power over my life barely works and does a bad job

put me in the death camp for socialists if you want but to me it seems like these billionaires have plenty of dollars but not a lot of sense

Yeah well I grew up in a mushroom village, so I’m not really used to how you do things. We used big giant mushrooms as our houses. We used bioluminescent mushrooms as lamps. And we didn’t try to change the plan last second if the other person already made reservations I guess that’s normal here

On days when they order the flags to half staff, they should just lower the price of guacamole instead. Or I guess there’s actually no reason they can’t do both.

hi how are ya

i don't want it now i don't want it when it looks better i don't want it even though celebs shill for it i don't want it despite the billions spent to push it i don't want to look at it, read it, talk to it, deal with it i just don't want to interface with it in any way, simple as

Me: God, what is the point of life? God: You know how they’ll make a dog toy look like a mustard bottle or something, and it’s purely for the human’s benefit and the dog’s like buhhhh whuhhh. Well you’re the dog, and I love mustard, baby.

I hate that the sparkle icon is shorthand for AI. They want us to think it’s magic. Fuck you!!! Magic is when you lose a glob of mustard from your sandwich but it doesn’t land on you. When you win at 20 questions. Sparkles belong to Liberace. A baby’s smiling eyes. I will put you in the ground!!!!!!

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

Happy 6 years, babe! 😍 This year, like every year, we have been working on the fact that I am not physically attracted to blonde men. I personally feel like you could just dye your hair, but I do understand that this is a me problem. We're not quite there, but maybe next year. Love you, goofball! 😘

Guy at Primus concert: It’s almost like heavier than heavy music. Because it’s so challenging. Primus: I’m a real funny bunny, and I know you’ll be my honey, when I put on my big wig and preen, That hunter got a shock, when I went and called him doc, and started munching beta-carotene. YIPPEE!

Friend 1: I’m thinking of getting a tattoo of Black Phillip Friend 2: Oh I actually got to meet the goat who played Black Phillip Friend 1: What! How amaz— Me, trying to one-up them: Black Phillip head butted me and broke my tailbone. Huge insurance payout. He probably won’t be in any more movies

Beautiful post

oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter

the decline of the catgirl and the ascendance of the "puppy girl" can be directly attributed to the collapse of trust in institutions and the intensification of attacks on the working class. in an era of precarity the masses no longer have the time nor energy to nyaa