SpaceAge Polymer

Never wrestle with a pig. You get all muddy and the pig likes it.

Who planned doomsday around Halloween? At least wait until November 1 so we can score discounted candy.

Enshittification

I’m handing out chocolate chips. One per child. Times are tough.

(Eats pasta using a breadstick as a fork) “…so, where do I find these carbs I’m supposed to avoid?”

Stirring my coffee with a nail

Me: how much for the goth Uno game? Store Clerk: ma’am, those are tarot cards

When the Sunday night scaries start before 10am

This is a Pamela Adlon appreciation post.

If you whine about a small market World Series, you’re not my people. It’s happened twice in 32 years, so STFU. Ditto small market NBA finals.

this apocalypse is mid

I have hope that this country will do the right thing on November 3. But I lack confidence.

Reply guy for hire.

CVS, how is my prescription “out of stock?” I didn’t order peaches out of season. You want me to believe we have a drug shortage?

Truth

I wish I had written this… 🖤

I just found out Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman

Meanwhile in France

QUOTE OF THE DAY 😎 #ProudBlue TRUMP'S FASCIST AGENDA MIRRORS NAZI GERMANY

► FunHouseRadio.com <- TUNE IN Like this #meme? Try the #stream

This is my shocked face…

Yet another migrant caravan? Just in time for midterms. C’mon gop, we’ve seen this before.

Elon Musk threatens Congress.

Herd of cows? Of course I've heard of cows! - Trump in his latest IQ test

Maybe the most white Facebook thing I’ve ever seen. Dude actually named his suburban cul de sac home a plantation. Wonder how many slaves he owns…

We thought Mueller would expose him but Barr stepped in, or Jack Smith would indict him but Cannon stepped in, or Congress would impeach and convict him but McConnell stepped in, or the judiciary would stop him but SCOTUS stepped in. It’s up to us, we must step in & stop him!

None of you have ever punched a mime before … and it shows.

Yes, if the drive-thru window is open

I’m off to outpizza the hut. Brb.

Might fuck around and join a pyramid scheme…

How many scaramuccis is that?

I love Rhiannon Giddens. Now I need to search for those other videos I’ve seen that mix Appalachia with traditional Chinese instruments. Music is universal.

Serotonin might fix me.

In college, I used to hang out in the law library because I liked the cushy leather seats and desk lamps. Can I call myself a lawyer?

“Ah, you just like to bitch.” – My therapist

Tinnitus is horrible and now my speakers sound like they’re covered with a blanket. I miss clarity.

Never underestimate the comforting powers of a baked potato. Or a box of Junior Mints. Not at the same time, of course, but you get the idea.

Geese are mean. I don’t trust them.

Interviewer: “Do you have any questions for us?” Me: “Yeah. How did Charlie Tuna wear glasses underwater?”

Pretty clear that Trump/Hegseth are doing everything they can to force Ukraine to surrender to Putin by withholding all US assistance while actively helping fund the Russian war machine to kill as many civilians as possible including kids. What a dark, evil chapter in US history.

“Snap out of it, FFS” – My therapist

I didn't grow up in the city I live in now which is great bc I'll never see people I hated in high school at the grocery store

I understand Bluesky is a fantastic side hustle. May I ask what day they send out the checks?

Self diagnosed with Monachopsis

“Suck it up, Buttercup!” – My therapist

Who on here really walks 10k steps a day? Tell me that’s not real. That’s gotta be some marketing healthcare version of ‘change your oil every 3000 miles’ (rips open a Snickers)