Elegant Trash

Wolftober!

I'd like to humbly request to not be fucked not a fan of sex

I’ve been rewatching Nightmare on Elm Street movies while working

honestly hallucinogens are a lot like kinks/fetishes, where you'll fully believe you're an extremely experimental fringe freak and then you meet an actual psychonaut or BDSM enthusiast who's like "WANNA MEET A GOD WHO FUCKING HATES YOU?" and realize you're, at best, a spicier version of vanilla

Imagine you pour your heart out to your therapist and you find out he wojaked you

Can pretty much guarantee that Bacchus consented to this interaction

my new boyfriend, a guy I found in a crate inside that giant warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, has proven to be incredible at communication and using telekinesis to kill federal officers

we talk a lot about actors and iphone face, but this guy from The Devils definitely has “has seen the inside of a VW Bus” face

human 2029

The Gardener nurtures the Fool

The invincible airplane

when the CIA attempted to recruit me, they said I could suck any cock on earth. Any I desire. I turned down their offer because i am not Gay

once the olympics start i want to find a chud who's addicted to sports gambling and try and convince him to place bets on trans women winning a medal. any medal. in any category.

I’m glad you have a stance on soup.

How to escape samsara how to escape samsara fast how to escape samsara solo run how to escape samsara reddit how to escape samsara -pinterest

i invented a new tech product that lets its user upload their consciousness to heaven instantly. im naming it the gun.

Threads check

Ideal halloween costume for masochists

All smoov. No folds. Behold - the median Tesla Buyer:

If they didn't want me to take my dog's vet-formulated viagra, they wouldn't make it in all my favorite flavors.

Merriam Webster out here fighting for its life

*after watching the Friday the 13th prequel series* I understand Jason Voorhees now. He was right to kill all those people, even the ones he killed in space.

When you have a friend

Always wet! No Survivors!

That this bot, which posts random stills and clips from the thousands of hours of VHS transfers on archive.org, landed on *this specific frame* feels like finding the monkey at the typewriter that managed to write Hamlet.

Don’t know who needs to hear this but you have stage iv cancer

bilbo baggins: frodo you can collect crystals and jewels to gain power frodo baggins: [nods] bilbo baggins: if you double jump and then press the action button, you can perform a ground pound frodo baggins: [nods]

that's nice. wait what was that first part

people putting on chastity cages often forget that the largest erogenous zone on the body is the brain

For some reason I always thought Weird Al was Jewish, even though his work is all but explicitly Rosicrucian and alchemical.

Drink the water outta your toilet, you George Costanza looking motherfucker

Good grief

Australopithecus 3 million years ago: