Fiona G

i don't care how jk rowling is justifying her murderous bigotry today actually. over 600 transgender ppl have died in the uk in the last 18 months bcos of policies she demanded the british government implement. she is a monster. i don't care how much you like harry potter.

Royal family must have been so confused that Meghan wanted to cut off a close relative for simply being a nonce

When did the amber warning become an orange warning? Does this mean the storm comes accompanied by a fucking flute band or something?

The government's Be Ready campaign is asking schools to prepare for cyber attacks that could take down their systems and interactive whiteboards. I'm ready. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

This won’t be reported widely, but Jason Arday has been cleared of plagiarism for a second time. Still nobody has been held accountable for this man’s death.

It really IS a triumph. Science is the absolute fucking suds.

Ross Kemp would have rugby-tackled those scarecrows to the ground and stamped on their heads until there was pumpkin pulp everywhere. #CelebrityTraitors

why am I genuinely emotional about Miranda Hart being fake murdered? #CelebrityTraitors

A masterclass in 'yes and...'

is Britain full or not, i can never remember

To all those people who complain about Christmas getting earlier and earlier each year, in 1954 Christmas started in Mid-October

A definite sign of ageing is that you cannot impress me with "over 20 years" anymore. Am I expected to think this sauce is ancient, because it's as old as Nelly Furtado's Maneater?

“The internet is a store but it used to be a library” hits me like a slug to the chest

Katie Zacharia arriving for her new job as White House Press Secretary

I believe the Ross Kemp x James Blunt fics are writing themselves now #CelebrityTraitors

Miranda Hart and Joe Lycett carrying a giant cock. What a programme. #CelebrityTraitors

I did a quick appearance on Australia "Today Show" to discuss the press secretary, whose name we never needed to learn. I also have the inside scoop on who they are looking to replace her with. Wait for the end.

Sometimes an evening in front of the telly with my husband is worth the world. Last Friday we went out for dinner and it was lovely, but sitting laughing at our daft programs tonight is truly joyous. I’m a simple lass 😁

My dream is to one day travel to Scotland and climb Ben Fogle.

shout out to the particularly boisterous group outside Letterkenny hospital who reacted to each beep like they’d won an all ireland

Siri, show me 'enshittification' in a single image

There’s really only one way to mark the 99th anniversary of Roger Moore’s birth

It's almost a joke at this point, but the entire story of Mamdani's mayorship really has been "it turns out we can just turn off the orphan grinding machine, the switch was right there the whole time."

I made a recipe tonight that called for three cloves of garlic, so I used four. Dinner was nowhere near garlicky enough. I’ve let myself down, I’ve let my family down and I’ve let all of you down. I can only apologise and promise to do better next time.

I took my uncle grocery shopping with me, to get food in for the meals I’ll be making while he’s staying with us. Well seen he’s used to living alone, he was horrified when we got to the checkout. Dinner for five people for three days cost more than he spends in a week 😂

🎵When I wake up in the morning, love 🎵I've got sockets but no eyes 🎵Because I am a skellington 🎵A super bony guy 🎵Then I play my ribs 🎵They're my private xylophone 🎵Dance around in crypts 🎵And I know it's gonna be 🎵A spooky day (spooky day, spooky day, spooky day, spooky day)

@dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social hi there, I’ve just opened up your website to resume reading old articles but I can’t access anything older than 2025. I was still reading 2019. Has it all gone now that you’re back on Substack? Is the website defunct? Thanks in advance :^)

I had arranged lunch with a friend today, only to realise we hadn’t seen each other in person since 2019! Needless to say, the hours passed and we eventually left out of guilt for the restaurant staff who were probably fed up of us 😂 Anyway, it’s lovely to know we could pick up where we left off ❤️

Andy Burnham’s team let the ‘andy4leader.co.uk’ domain expire lmao

"We come to this place.... FOR FUCKIN' NIGHTMARES!" THIS BLOODY HORROR CABIN. THE ONLY GOOD THINGS THAT HAS EVER COME FROM IT! "SPURBURYURYURYUR" CELIA IMRIE AND HER WIND #CelebrityTraitors #TheTraitors

Gyles Brandreth is Tory Paddington.