Spam Caller

I will never be president obv, but if I was I wouldn’t drape big selfie banners like king of the dum dums HOWEVER, i would selfishly paint the town of this one picture of my long dead dog. Thank you Sir

A 19th Century Japanese Depiction of an American

Losers.

Wet wipes should be for free in bathrooms like tampons are 

My diarrhea is vibe coded 

The amount of stand-up comics who complain about their travel schedules the whole time. Like, I paid to hear you tell jokes, my man. I don't give a single fuck how tired your arms feel.

Who are Ryan Reynolds’s movies for?

One way you know Dolly Parton lived life the right way: I don’t think anyone’s going to get fired for accurately quoting Dolly Parton today.

Benghazi went away!

Every dollar spent on social services is, in some sense, a theft from the weapons industry

Would be cool if there was a protest group that gets the diarrhea and goes to the steps of the capitol and performs the diarrhea protest

hey michael quick question. did you find this post by searching for your name or searching for the word pussy

Bill Gates Invests In New Sex Trafficking Startup

the real political correctness is that you can’t go on the news and say that this is hick shit

"And no industry that demands everything from us — our land, our energy, our water, our jobs, our art, our writing, our attention and every dollar we have — should ever be treated with anything but revulsion." 💯 Amazing (long!) writing by @edzitron.com 👏 www.wheresyoured.at/the-revenge-...

Called this back in October

An automated A.I. WWE news channel tries to pronounce "WWE" as a word and ends up going insane! 🤣

Gonna be a real big ballroom

I started a restaurant called M.S.G.. Meat Sodium Gluten We are going out of business

I’m realizing that my last post here was calling Katy Perry a stupid bitch cause she sat her pussy on ruby rose and really what do I know about it other that Katy Perry seems like she sucks.

Katy Perry you stupid bitch

The fact that there is no successful opposition party to the most corrupt, morally bankrupt, and frankly dumb as shit administration is completely maddening

Attn All Lovers Of Doggos, Pupperinos & Furbabies—We Are Collecting Your Pets To Send Them To Beautiful Israel Where Theyll Become Champions

A daily National Humiliation is a small price to pay for higher fuel costs.

I remember believing this when I was prescribed Ritalin at 6 years old

Happy St. Patrick's Day, New York.

"I'm sorry to say this but you're either too stupid to work here or you were in on it"

manufacturing consent through lowly paid influencers

Tony Clifton ass president

its amazing how chatgpt knows everything about subjects I know nothing about, but is wrong like 40% of the time in things im an expert on. not going to think about this any further

Trying to keep a group text going today

Unredeemable people. Amazing that this kind of thing doesn’t induce mass resignations from anyone working inside this administration.

One good sentence

Putting a “kill your local pedophile” sticker on my car so everyone knows how much I love the wealthy pedophile cabal that controls all of our lives, led by the biggest fattest pedophile of them all who I voted for

I went to go pour over the new Epstein files and see if there is anything juicy in there but I got distracted and found myself in the movie theatre watching Melania instead.

ilhan omar is actually one of the bravest people in the world.

Can only think this would respect Charlie’s wishes