Adobe Scorpi-ote Graduate 1996

Time to sign up for Netflix again…

What a weird-ass Rapture. Only the Constitution disappeared.

👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼😵‍💫🤮

MAKING ME DEFEND THE FORMER CO-HOST OF THE MAN SHOW MAY BE THE LAST STRAW, AMERICA.

I know I’m naive but it is pretty wild that the president of the United States just publicly declares he and the military killed some guys on a boat, multiple times, and the entirety of Congress doesn’t immediately hit a giant red IMPEACH button

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

Charlie Kirk spent his life‘s work and all of his energy and time targeting out-groups while arguing for a world in which gun massacres would be easy to enact, plentiful, and inevitable, and he became famous and wealthy doing it, and we’re now not supposed to mention that because it’s not polite.

Every once in a while I tell people from other countries about how the health insurance system works in the US and they are aghast. Yesterday a guy straight up didn’t believe me when I said people can die because of not being able to afford medicine. He was sure I meant in the distant past.

You know that scene in an action movie when the bad guy runs through the kitchen of a restaurant and pulls down all the pots and pans behind him to slow down his pursuers? We're in that part of the Trump presidency.

So. Are. We.

🇺🇸 “Rolling Stone reached out to all 53 GOP senators after the president said he didn't know whether he needs to honor the nation's founding document. None replied.” www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...

Linda McMahon, Secretary of Education, sent Harvard a letter. They graded it. Bwahahaha.

Two former Wells Fargo executives were fined $8.5M by the Biden administration for covering up the bank's infamous fake account scandal. Trump just slashed those fines to a paltry $150,000 after Wells Fargo gave $1M to his inauguration. See how this works?

100 DAYS...of lying, grifting, lawbreaking, division, incompetence, ignorance, illegal deportations, self-aggrandizement, vulgarity, self-pity, cruelty, ignoring the Supreme Court & due process while attacking: the Media, Universities, Law Firms, the Courts & Journalists. 1362 Days to go...

I really hope that @kentremendous.bsky.social sees this because I think he’d enjoy it. The comments are incredible as well.

“The President’s desires cannot be ignored”

Canada is potentially about to elect a Prime Minister with a PhD in economics from Oxford, Mexico elected someone with a degree in physics and a PhD in energy engineering… Meanwhile, America elected a barely sentient orange turnip. Any Questions?!

It’s like Watergate, only in this version Nixon directly mails the tapes to Woodward and Bernstein

👊🇺🇸🔥

Lots of questions

The only fair way to handle this is to appoint a team of teenagers to tear this company limb from limb until we find out what kind of financial damage they are hiding and where

God dammit. Timing couldn’t be worse but here goes. Chuck Schumer and I are launching our new podcast “Soul Deep: A Weekly Deep Dive Into the Music of Collective Soul” tomorrow. I do NOT support his latest decision and want to make clear this is strictly a music podcast. Please check it out

“Anyone caught checking them can and will be deported,” he warned.

Supreme Court rules 6-3 that Teslas are priced to move with $0 down and no payments for 48 months

Epic idea

BREAKING: Entire Human Race Flagged By DEI Purge Because of “Homo” in “Homo Sapiens”

COLBERT, on Rep. Al Green’s removal: “Some people questioned why so much muscle was needed to remove an old man with a cane. But it turns out it was for a serious reason. When security searched him, they found that he smuggled in a spine." @latenightercom.bsky.social

Guerilla advertising seen in the London Metro

This is Winston Churchill visiting the White House during World War II. Funny how he isn’t wearing a suit either. Almost like he was a wartime leader defending his country from being slaughtered and wiped out by an authoritarian aggressor.

Zelenskyy held back from punching JD Vance right in his disgusting fucking face so I guess I’m not gonna get my birthday wish this year

A trifecta.

This⬇️⬇️⬇️!

Whoever puts this on their list of five things they did this week should get the employee of the year award

Thinking about this a lot lately…🙃

Kamala was right. And it only took him less than 30 days to roll over for Putin.

This.

If you wanted to cut waste, fraud, and abuse, you would empower the inspectors general. If you wanted more waste, fraud, and abuse, you would fire them.

BREAKING: House Republicans just released their budget plan, and Rep. @ritchietorres.bsky.social reports that it would cut: ●$880 BILLION from E&C, affecting Medicaid. ●$330 BILLION from education, affecting public schools. ●$230 BILLION from agriculture, affecting food assistance. This is nuts.

I didn't watch but it is my understanding that Drake lost the Super Bowl